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Kevin's Twins-Father-to-Be Journal

April 4, 2000, 37 weeks
~ "This ain't no party. This ain't no disco. Ain't got time for that now." - Talking Heads

We're going to see Dr. G this afternoon. The boys are both around five pounds now, which is good. But when Susan saw Dr. G last week, he told her that her amniotic fluid was low. It made her seem like a car. Gee, Susan you're a quart low, if this keeps up the engine will lock up and we don't want that to happen.

On a more serious note, Dr. G said he'll make a recommendation to induce if Susan's fluid is still low today. That means the boys could be born any hour now!

Needless to say, I'm watching the clock (which is moving painstakingly slow).

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I think I'm already broken-in for sleep deprivation. Since Susan can't get comfortable, she's up every hour. Last night, she took the pillow I was sleeping on, grabbed it from right under me and took it with her. I don't think she even realized what she was doing, but I wasn't going to say anything.

This morning, she told me she couldn't sleep because her mind was going a mile a minute. "What if I can't handle the two boys?"; "I don't have any support, everyone says they're going to help, but nobody is committing." At this point, I made the same mistake I always make with Susan. I tried to fix the problem. "Look, nothing's set in stone. I'm sure Betsy can come here instead of me dropping off Kate."

Then Susan told me, "I just wanted you to hold me and reassure me that everything's going to be OK; I don't need you to fix the damn problem". As Susan stormed off, I turned to Kate who was watching this whole thing with complete indifference from her high chair and said, "Women Kate, there's just no figuring them out." She smiled and reached for another Cheerio.

Anyway, tensions are starting to ride a little high. This is when daddy is suppose to be the glue of the operation. It's funny how we fall back into our time honored roles when it's crunch time.

Time to put my own worries on the back burner. Time to reassure my wife that everything will be just fine. It's Susan's time now. Soon, it will be Mike and Sean's time. Everything else will wait.

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