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Kevin's Twins-Father-to-Be Journal

~ Meet Kevin!

Kevin and SusanHi, I'm Kevin Lonnie from the lovely Jersey Shore. My wife Susan and I are expecting twin boys in the Spring. This will be my journal. What's this? A guy's point of view about pregnancy. Well it is a new millennium and I like having a journal that the boys could read some day. So when Maribeth (the woman who edits all these journals) told me there would be interest in the father's perspective, I ran the idea by Susan. She said, "Go for it, but don't even think of sending in any pregnant pictures." Why this would bother her I don't know. She likes when people tell her she doesn't look very pregnant and I'm telling her she has to gain more weight. I've barely started my journal and already I digress. Back to the facts.

Let me start with some background. I'm 43 years old (does this sound like a personal ad so far?) and I've been married to my wife Susan for a little over two years now. We had our first baby, Kathleen Anne, in October 1998. Kate already has me wrapped around her little finger. The first time she said Dada, I would have bought her a car right there if she had asked.

Susan had just turned 34 when we got married in September '97. And as you already know, I'm no spring chicken, so we were trying for a baby from the get-go. After six months of trying (not that I'm complaining about the attempting) Susan got pregnant with Kathleen. Or should I say "we" got pregnant. I know the guy is part of the process now, but that "we're pregnant" stuff sounds weird to me.

Now on to the current pregnancy and the point of this journal. Last night we were arguing (let's call it a discussion) about whose idea it was to start trying again. Susan pointed out that I'm the one who came up with a three to nine month range for conception. She had me on that one. Being a researcher, I calculated it would take us six months to conceive (plus or minus three months). Well, this time we were fortunate enough to conceive right out of the starting gate. Actually, I'm pretty sure what night the twins were conceived. It was Saturday, August 7th. Our neighbor Kathy had been asking for months to baby-sit Kate so Susan and I could enjoy a romantic evening out. It was only the second time we had gone out to dinner since Kate was born. We went to a restaurant overlooking the ocean, took a moonlit walk along the beach and the rest, well the rest isn't going into this journal.

In mid-November we made our first visit to Susan's baby doctors. Her main baby doctor (Dr. Massaro) gave us the percentages for a birth defect baby. He also gave us the percentages for a miscarriage brought on by amniocentesis. The odds were roughly the same. So we decided to use blood tests and the results of the expert ultrasound to help guide us. Essentially, if the tests looked good and the ultrasound looked good, we would skip the amnio.

Just a general point here about your wife's baby doctor. Despite all the talk about husbands being an asset, doctors never know what to do with husbands. Plus it's a bit awkward having them probe around your wife's privates while you're standing there. You feel like saying, "Hey, how bout those Mets?" After a little more awkward foot shuffling on my part, Susan asks Dr. Massaro, "Are you done yet, cause I keep trying to lift my pants back up?" I tell Dr. Massaro, "Don't feel bad doc, she asks me the same thing all the time." A little bit of humor helps those awkward spots.

December 8th (curiously enough, the feast of the Immaculate Conception for any Catholics reading this) was the day we went for our first ultrasound. I met Susan at the doctor's office. I think I even brought some work with me in case we had to wait awhile. But they sped us right along. Susan was going to be examined by Dr. Gonzalez who is an expert in high risk pregnancies. The fact that Susan would be 36 by the time the baby was born qualifies us for Dr. Gonzalez.

Our nurse, Linda, was really nice and made Susan feel very comfortable. I tried to find a place to stand where I would have a good view of the monitor and not be too much in the way. Linda started probing around Susan's lower abdomen and immediately received a clear image. "That's the baby's head," I said to myself. Then I saw another image, "Oh, wait a minute, that must be the head." I was feeling a little confused. Apparently I had overrated my ability to read an ultrasound.

Linda looked up from the monitor to announce, "I'll tell you one thing, you're having twins."

Now shock is a strange concept. It affects people differently. Susan started crying. She was overcome with joy.

I kept muttering, "Twins?".

"That's right," said Linda. "You wanted to know the sex right"? Susan enthusiastically nodded yes. "Well it's twin boys, who appear to be identical."

Again, I'm still muttering like an idiot. Except I'm now saying, "twin boys?".

In hindsight, there were a hundred things going through my mind. Things like, "How are we going to take care of twins?", "I'm having a son!", "I'm having sons!", "Damn, I'm going to have to get one of those butt-ugly minivans." Meanwhile, Susan is crying with joy the whole time. And at that point, I know we'll be all right. She's got enough love for quads, let alone twins.

That night we called Susan's mother and my parents. Susan's mom, Diana (whom I affectionately refer to as the Field Marshall) was taken aback. It took her a good 15 minutes to regroup, which if you knew Diana would really tell you something. My parents were equally shocked. Still, it was my mom who was the first to suggest we might be having twins. When Susan told her how bad her morning sickness was this time, my mom had suggested, "Maybe you're having twins." To which my dad responded, "Don't say that or they'll never invite us back." Well Mom was right and it's okay Dad, we want you over as much as you like. In fact, we're going to need a lot of help when the little ones arrive, but I've got three months before that happens and several more entries to share before then.

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