Week 29 ~ April 8, 2011
~ Worries and Excitement!
I think after reading my last two journal entries over, I need to clarify a few things. It seems my last two entries have been, to me anyway, a little on the negative side. I know that we all have hormonal moments throughout our pregnancies, so I hope anyways, that none of my negativity was taken in the wrong way.
Even though I complain about my little aches and pains and other things, I feel truly blessed to be having another child. I know we have not gone through what so many people have to endure to have a child. Even the glimpse of infertility we did experience has really opened my eyes to the heartbreak that some couples have to go through for years. I really am excited to be bringing another child into this world, but I can not say it is not without some worries on my end.
I have really been struggling with how Kaydon will adjust to having a little brother. I know that children get new siblings every day, and they handle it just fine. Don't get me wrong, I know that even if he was older and understood more, bringing home a new baby would be a big adjustment to everyone. And, I know no matter what age, a child will experience some sort of jealousy or other 'issue' along the way. Maybe I am just struggling with this because both Brandon and I are only children so we have never had to deal with a brother or sister and what all goes along with that. We have also, on the other hand, missed out on that great bond that I see many people have with their siblings. We do not have stories to share about our perspectives growing up and family vacations with someone who was there and truly knows what it was like from our point of view. (Of course our parents, but someone on our own level.) So even though I am afraid that Kaydon will be in shock and unfortunately have some temper tantrums or jealousy episodes, I truly believe we are giving him one of the best gifts of all. And, I could not be more excited, anxious, nervous, blessed, or thrilled to be bringing Colton home in about two short months! I thank God everyday for such a miracle, because I feel he is just that, a miracle!
I cannot believe that in about TWO months, I will be the mother of TWO little boys! I cannot wait! I guess that means I should really get started on that nursery and prepping for his arrival before I start getting really uncomfortable. I go to the doctor this coming Tuesday and then I start going every two weeks. I cannot believe I am already to this point! Hopefully I will have more to update you all on after my doctor's appointment. I do have the dreaded glucose test. I actually thought the drink tasted good when I was pregnant with Kaydon, so hopefully it's tasty this time around as well!
Until next week!