Week 16 ~ February 21, 2003
~ Where Did My Energy Go?
It's been a pretty quiet, gray, cold and snowy week here. As yucky as it is outside, my husband and I bundle up Ana in a ton of layers and go outside every afternoon. Otherwise we'd stagnate in our house. I feel like I've just been waiting this week . . . waiting for the snow to go away, waiting for spring, waiting til I have the baby. It's not a good thing to be in "waiting" mode when you're only 16 weeks along, because you've got a long way to go!
For some odd reason, I've relapsed into feeling not-so-great this week. I'm not real sick or nauseous, and I'm eating OK, so I can't complain too much. But I feel like all my energy is being drained, and all the nutrients I digest from my food is being siphoned off somewhere . . . hmm, I wonder where? Which may explain why I am OBSESSED with food. I keep eating, and eating, and eating and always feel like I need more!
I can't tell you how OPPOSITE this is from my last pregnancy (being obsessed with food, that is). Eating food was one of my biggest struggles last time around. Nothing looked good, I rarely had an appetite, and I think I lived on yogurt and plain spaghetti (not together, mind you). Eating was a chore.
Not this time! I can eat just about anything. I have been cooking up a storm at home. I've been reading cookbooks in my spare time. I'm always thinking ahead to the next meal. Is this normal? I feel like I spend most of my time preparing to eat, cooking, eating, cleaning up, and waiting until the next meal! I don't own a scale, so I don't know how much I weigh right now. Last time I checked at the athletic club was a few weeks ago, and I'd gained about 7 pounds. I have a feeling I've gained more since then!
We're staying with Karl's parents this weekend, and as I came in the house I noticed a brand new baby outfit on the table. It didn't click immediately that it was for us. I thought, "oh, I wonder who that's for?". It's funny how I forget about the reality of having a new baby soon. It hasn't occurred to me to prepare for it in terms of clothes, blankets, diapers. I guess it's just too early for me. I read about how some women feel bonded to their unborn baby while in utero, or dream about the baby. I don't really feel that way, but I'm not really worried about it. I know that will come later. In fact, I don't recall feeling particularly maternal at delivery, either. Once she was out, I was exhausted and very glad that someone else was taking care of her! At any rate, I figure my job is to get the baby here safely, and the rest will come after that. Maybe not right after delivery, but eventually!
Well, I'm going to try to drag myself through this week and hopefully next week I'll have a little more energy.