I was sure that "pregnant glow" thing you hear so much about was nothing but a myth. Just something people made up so you'd feel better when you don't even recognize your own body anymore. I spent more than the whole first trimester more tired than I've ever felt in my life. My skin was oily and broken out. My hair was falling out in handfuls in the shower while sprouting up in all the places I didn't want it. My weight was coming on in weird pudgy rolls and love handles. But then suddenly . . .
I'm radiant! My skin has cleared up and has a soft brightness I haven't seen since my mid-twenties. My hair, seemingly overnight, is almost down to my waist and shiny. The 11 pounds I've gained so far have gathered to a strangely pointy belly that everyone predicts must be a boy. But the best part is the inner glow that comes out when I feel that little baby moving at different times of the day. Reminding me that while I'm doing a hundred other little things at work, at the grocery store, visiting my mother-in-law, playing with the pets, paying bills, I'm also busy growing a new little person.
I can't believe this is the week some women just start to feel their babies move or kick. My husband can feel it when he has the patience to wait with his hand on my belly for more than just a few minutes and we can even see it squirm and change positions when I lay in bed on my back sometimes. I have another appointment next week and I think this might be the last sonogram I'll be getting for a while so I'm looking forward to seeing how much this baby has grown in the last month.
I'm almost positive we're having a boy. The only proof I have is the pointy belly and the slow (upper 130's - low 140's) heart rate. If I could've chosen I would've picked a boy, but as I read these journal entries I know a girl would want to hear about when she was a tiny baby growing in mommy's tummy over and over again while I imagine a son isn't going to care much for the details of pregnancy and how glowy and happy I was to be having him. And a son is definitely not going to want to hear anything about the IVF cycles or bleeding we endured to get him here. That's okay, little boy, someday you'll have a girlfriend or wife who'll want to read every word of it and I'll be more than happy to share!