~ Lady, You Want to do WHAT??!!
My next and last appointment with my reproductive endocrinologist (RE) is scheduled for Tuesday the 28th. He wanted me to choose a high risk OB/GYN so that he could transfer my medical records. So, as ridiculously early as this seemed, I started thinking about how to find a doctor that would support the kind of birth that I would like to have. Every mom comes up with her own birth plan based on her own experiences and preferences. My mom had her last two babies at home and I loved how relaxing it seemed to be in your own comfortable surroundings without a bunch of machines and bright lights, tons of different people coming in and out, or someone taking away your baby as soon as it's born. I am no where near as brave as my mother and neither my husband nor I would consider a home birth with twins, but I didn't think my birth plan was anything unreasonable.
First off, I want to find a doctor who makes me feel safe and confident as long as everything is progressing normally. If problems come up, I want the risks involved explained along with what my options are to try to fix it, if we can. I don't want labor induced as long as the babies are healthy and everything is okay. I had pictured trying to stay home for as long as I could before the contractions got too strong or too close together. At the hospital, I would have liked to be free to stand and walk around or take a warm shower to try to deal with the pain. Ideally, I would also like to keep the babies near me as soon as they are born.
At first, I was a little embarrassed to be checking out hospitals for delivery being only 8 weeks pregnant, but what an eye-opener that day turned out to be! I may as well have gone in there and told them I wanted to try to give birth to two baby elephants through my nose. I was informed that the private hospitals most likely will not risk the delivery of twins vaginally and I would be scheduled for a c-section regardless of the position of the babies. Maybe not my worst nightmare, but definitely Plan Z! When I asked, "If the first baby is in a vertex (head down) position, wouldn't it be my choice whether or not to have a cesarean?", hoping to impress her with my knowledge of correct medical terms, I was told, "Yes, but, it would be the doctor's choice whether or not to help you deliver your babies." My own RE wasn't any more supportive of my apparently medieval ideas. He told me his wife had four c-sections and it was so much easier that way.
So, this is going to take a little time and research. I was scared and discouraged at first, but it turns out the residents at the hospital where my husband works are willing to deliver vaginally. The nurse I spoke to there was very friendly and encouraging. She reminded me that twins occur naturally and being conceived through IVF didn't necessarily make my case "high risk." She also gave me a tour of the labor and delivery floor which, surprisingly, is the nicest of the hospitals I have been to so far. My husband is also being very supportive and got on the phone last night with an OB/GYN who is a friend of his trying to find the best doctor to deliver our babies. It turns out now to be a good thing we have plenty of time on our hands to get this figured out!
On a happier note, one of our kids' first friends, Nicholas Asher, was born on April 12th. We were at the hospital to welcome him when he was just about 6 hours old. Holding that tiny newborn baby, I was amazed to think that the two almost-an-inch long babies I am carrying will grow to become that by the end of November. His mother and I hope a seven month difference won't be too much of a gap and that all three of them will like each other. This was one of the first real baby daydreams I had allowed myself to have without being scared about "what if's" and it turns out once you start, the daydreams are endless and so much fun!