So now that you know a little more about me I would like to back up to our wedding night . . . okay maybe not that far. But soon after we were married we were busy planning our small intimate wedding reception. About two weeks earlier, a week before our reception, I started my period, but it stopped for two days and then came back with a vengeance. Call it intuition but I just knew I was probably having a miscarriage. I called two different doctors who both agreed that if I bled for more than 14 days then I should come in for a check up. Other than that I didn’t need to make an appointment. It finally stopped so I thought all was normal and we went on with our wedding reception.
A couple of weeks later, we had a family BBQ at our home. I remember vividly waving goodbye to my brother and sister-in-law and all of a sudden I felt as if someone kicked me in the stomach. I had planned to pull an all-nighter with my school work and I chalked it up to eating steak that may have not agreed with me. I kept saying that it will pass. I was on the floor screaming when my hubby wanted to take me to the hospital. I thought NO WAY! They will pump my stomach, plus it will go away soon. He went to the store and picked up some Pepto-Bismol. After drinking almost the entire bottle I decided it was time to go to the ER.
After that point I was screaming and yelling all the way as my husband was putting the pedal to the metal. I couldn’t even sit straight in the seat and I couldn’t lie down. I walked in thinking "oh this is embarrassing" as I was yelling and everyone was looking at me. A nurse immediately took me back and started telling me I had stones. I yelled at her saying it wasn't stones. Now I think to myself "How did I know it wasn’t stones?" I really don’t even know what stones are or what they feel like. I told her I was dying. She pushed me back into the bed and I tried pushing her away from me, as lying down was even more excruciating. I did all of this while yelling at the top of my lungs (pretty loud for those who know me)! I passed out and woke up to a team of seven doctors and nurses doing everything thing they could to stabilize me. I had tubes inserted in places you just shouldn’t. I remember them saying that I had no blood in my veins. They poked me with needles in my arms, legs, feet, and hips. Then the nurse said "she hardly has a blood pressure."
I was crying as I really thought this was it. I thought it wasn't time! I couldn't breathe and a mask was put over my face. All I could think about was our wedding day in Hawaii and it was just too soon to say goodbye to my wonderful husband. Well long story short they finally figured it out . . . I was eight weeks pregnant and it was an ectopic pregnancy that burst. They called a doctor who was at home and nearby; he rushed in and at 2AM performed the surgery that saved my life. I lost a lot of blood and had three blood transfusions. I was told that I may have to have a hysterectomy as I was hemorrhaging very badly.
I woke up in recovery very confused and asked "Am I alive?" I was released after five days in the hospital and was sent home on bedrest for six weeks. My husband was amazing as he cancelled all his business trips and stayed home to take care of me. My mom flew out from New York as soon as she heard I was in the hospital and stayed with us to help out. My sister drove up from San Diego and also helped doing everything she could. It was so painful and the recovery was so slow. My primary care doctor read all the surgical notes and commented that I'm very lucky to still be here today. It didn't really hit me until I started going back to work that I'm truly fortunate to still be among those I love and those who love me.
We grieved over the loss and have tried to cope with what the future holds for us. I'm so thankful to the doctor who performed my surgery as he’s now become our new high risk pregnancy and fertility doctor. He not only saved my life, but he did everything to save my right tube so that we still may have the chance to conceive. I still experience pain, but it's been almost seven months and I'm finally feeling back to my old self. We’ve been trying for a few months to once again conceive, but nothing yet. We have an appointment with our pregnancy doctor coming up, and I have lots of questions for him and hope to have some testing done. I'll update and give you the full scoop in a few weeks.
Going through all of this sure has put a lot of things in perspective. I'm thankful everyday for all that I have; to my husband and family who have been incredible throughout everything. I'm given another chance at life and I don't take anything for granted as I must live each day with laughter and love.
~Loni
