Week 24/25 ~ April 3, 2008
~ Moving Toward an "Outie"
Ok, I'm doing something I set out not to do on this journal: lump two weeks into one entry. This has come to pass partly because I have been really busy and in various states of pain, and partly because, by the time I looked back on it earlier this week, the two weeks just blended together in my head.
My family got together for Easter, and my mom's youngest sister (who's about 15 years older than me) announced that she is preggers too! She's due about two months after we are, so there will be two new babies in our family one right after the other. This is their third child. So . . . it's my baby's first cousin once removed, right? Something like that.
That week was just so hectic. I barely got to enjoy my baby's kicks, since it felt like I was always on the go. Jeremiah worked overtime for his brother all week, and overtime at a theater means working 8 am until 10 or 11pm sometimes. Basically, it's until they get enough done. I can't physically do a lot of the chores by myself right now, with the pain in my leg (I still have been having bad muscle pain in my left buttock/lower back/upper leg) and without lifting heavier things. So, the house was gross for a week and a half because I'm tired of doing dishes and was going to let him do those things when he gets a chance. Took a long time.
We had another appointment with our CNM last Friday (March 28). She recommended trying a maternity support belt, which I have been wearing to work, but which rides up and gets uncomfortably bunchy sometimes. I got the Medela one at Babies'R'Us using a $10 off coupon I got in the mail, so at least I didn't pay full price. I can't tell if it's because of the belt or not, but the pain has felt less in the last couple of days, finally.
My brother was in town for his Spring Break (he's at Harvard), which coincided with his 21st birthday. We went to Universal Studios which we have passes for (there was some deal where if you paid for one day you got a year free, so my parents got them for us), but I still felt like we spent too much just because of the amount of gas we used. My god, these prices are ridiculous. Aside from my hormonal bitterness at the cost of gas and the $11 parking fee (come ON now!), we had fun. I wasn't doing too much walking either, so I wasn't in real pain until the end of the day. We ate at Buca di Beppo, where everything was soooo good. It's a good thing I don't go eat at those often. I'd have put on much more than the 18 lbs I've gained so far!
I have still been really stressed by the situation at work, with the layoff notice etc. That combined with all the planning/grading/answering emails/professional development (to clear my credential) that I need to do makes me absolutely nutty. I actually felt sick from it, badly enough to miss a day of work. Between pain, anxiety, and killer allergies, I have just been an absolute mess.
I finally talked again to my CNM today, and told her about my escalating anxiety, and that I wanted to take some half-pay sick leave during the last weeks of school so that I can try to stay off meds until post-partum. She agreed, so I actually do feel much better. I'm also still seriously considering finding part-time work instead of teaching for a couple of years, but if I DON'T get "bumped" to another school or laid off (so, if I actually get to stay where I am this year), I'll have a lot of thinking to do. I really do like my current school, and it would be nearly impossible to get as good of a site if I tried to re-enter the school district as a teacher in a couple of years, even if I go back to subbing in the meantime. But, it's so hard for me to picture handing a two-month-old baby over to child care even a couple of days a week if it's not an absolute necessity.
In the meantime, the nursery has come to a standstill as we wait for the crib and dresser to be delivered. I'm really excited to see it coming together, slowly but surely. The baby kicks, twirls and pushes a lot these days, and sometimes I go walk into its room when it's really active, just so I feel as connected as possible during these days which can be difficult for me.