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Marisa's Pregnancy Journal

Week 39
~ Is there a part of you that hasn't gotten bigger?

I am going to do a little product pitch here for two paragraphs.

I had been looking for a nursing bra tank top because it is going to be smack in the middle of July when I have the baby. I had seen reviews for Bravado nursing tanks and bras in a couple of places, and I asked for gift certificates there when I gave my registries on the shower invite, but I didn't get any. So, I was planning to make due with the ones I'd found at Target and Motherhood Maternity (about 1/3 the price of Bravado). They make boobs look a little funny, but I figured I could live with that for a couple of months. I think I wrote in another entry about how hard it was to find (in-store to try on) a DD non-underwire non-sports nursing bra . . .

Well anyway, I was doing my normal eBay rounds (I have found many items new at half price online there! Saved a bunch) when I found a couple of gently used Bravado nursing bras in my size, at less than half the normal price. I figured why not, so I bought them, got them, washed them . . . they are just fantastic! They are called Body Silk Seamless Nursing Bras. They are SO much better than the other couple of nursing bras I've bought that I went to Bravado's website, ready to invest in a couple of nursing tanks. I decided to Google "bravado coupon" just in case . . . and I hit on, with a 25% off coupon code. I was skeptical, but I could afford 3 tanks with that discount, and it WORKED! I think the coupon code has expired by now, so I won't bother posting it. I have to say, these tanks are the absolute best. No kidding. No weird-looking boobs, total support, stretch returns after washing . . . just the best. Don't waste money like I did at Motherhood, etc., just buy one and try it. Find a coupon if you can. I wish someone had told me that.

Ok, done with the spiel.

Doctor's appointment . . . well, another Dodo experience with the same song. I asked her about stripping the membranes and if that would be possible, but she said my cervix would have to be slightly open already, and I'm not even there yet. So, we'll see at the next appointment on Monday.

I haven't been feeling good about myself. I just feel like a sack of potatoes compared to the happy-go-lucky women in the pregnancy mags. I know, it's unrealistic to compare yourself to any magazine women, even pregnant ones, but I still do. And I think that Runway Moms show should be banned.

I was washing my face the other day, and I realized my nose looked bigger . . . not longer, just wider. I had thought that last week too, but I brushed it off as random lighting or something. This time I was pretty sure. Jeremiah always scoffs when I ask him things like this (he hates being "trapped in a woman question" like, "do I look ok?" or "does my butt look better in this outfit than the other one?"), and he never notices when I get new clothes or a haircut.

He should be the last one I ask, but I had to ask somebody.

Me: "Hey, I think my nose is getting bigger."
J, without looking up from computer: "Yeah, I noticed that."
Me: "WHAT? You noticed and didn't tell me??"
J, finally looking up: "I figured you didn't need one more thing to think about."

However true that may be . . . what else has he noticed and not mentioned? He says nothing, but how would I know? So, I ended up in kind of a funk for the rest of the day, focusing on the chain of discomforts that make up my life right now. Can't sleep normally, can't eat normally, can't walk without painful swelling, can't write or type without pain/swelling, can't go to the bathroom normally (peeing constantly, and have had diarrhea for weeks), can't open my own Gatorade bottles (for the diarrhea), can't fit comfortably behind the steering wheel, can't wear all but one pair of my shoes, can't stop scratching at the PUPPP rash, can't decide about work in the Fall . . . the list goes on.

My mother's response when I told her: "Well, is there a part of you that hasn't gotten bigger during the pregnancy?" Good point, I guess. I got on the scale the other day and it broke. BROKE! Under my weight, which the doctor says is a good amount to gain, the stupid thing cracked. Shame on me for breaking reaching that 200lb mark, right? . . . like a hole in the head, I needed that.

I felt better the next day, but not physically. Physically, I am not enjoying being pregnant anymore, even in more comfy bras. I know I should be enjoying what is potentially the last quiet week I'll have for a long time, a special bonding time with my unborn baby, etc., but there is almost nothing enjoyable about this, except that I am catching up on Frasier and Golden Girls reruns from midnight to 2am.

~ Marisa

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