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Melissa's Pregnancy Journal

~ Meet Melissa

familyMy name is Melissa, and I am expecting my first child in late December! My husband Tory and I were married in October of 2007. We are both 30 and had to be set up twice by our best friends for us to hit it off! My husband is from Tennessee and I am originally from Ohio, and now we live near Phoenix. I am an artist and love making things, from paper dolls to jewelry, and my husband works for an online university and also creates board games and loves to write. We spend a lot of evenings watching Mystery Science Theater episodes with our three cats!

My husband comes from a big Catholic family, and I had been raised in a devoutly Christian home, and we had both always wanted to get married and start a family. Tory had lots of nieces and nephews, and I could tell by the way he interacted with them he'd be exactly the kind of father I wanted for my future children!

Mel and ToryWe did wait for two years after getting married before we thought it would really be a good time to start actively trying for a child. In that time we'd worked out all the little "kinks" of early married life and had bought a house together! After only four months of trying, we conceived our first child. I had one happy but emotional week, trying to adjust to the idea of being pregnant and all the excitement and fear that brings.

The following Saturday I woke up with cramps like a period. I went to the bathroom and blood came gushing out. I got the worst sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew that much bleeding was NOT going to end well. As it turned out, it was a "simple" miscarriage at three weeks after conception, and was medically uncomplicated and "easy," but what an emotional nightmare! Suddenly I was someone who had a miscarriage. I lost my first baby, however small and undeveloped, in the toilet. During that week my husband was a saint and we got through it together. In a few weeks I felt mostly normal again except for when baby stuff came on TV or I thought about "trying again."

WeddingA few months later, my cycles were completely back to normal and I knew my body was ready for another pregnancy. I was terrified to try, but figured that it took several months to get pregnant the first time, so it would likely be the same this time. I could ease into the idea with a few months of trying and not getting pregnant. A few days after ovulation in that cycle, I felt different. I had some cramping/pain too early to be my period but right around implantation time. I was terrified. I wanted to be pregnant again, but I was NOT ready to miscarry again! As the time for my period approached, I waited anxiously. I actually lay in bed one night and cried because I thought I was pregnant. I was just so scared that it would end in tragedy!

Each day seemed like a lifetime, but somehow I made it through the next week. No period. By then I knew. Another week later, still no period. I waited to take a pregnancy test until after the week of when I miscarried the first time. When I saw the two lines, it was no surprise. Here I was again!


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