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Melissa's Pregnancy Journal

Week 38
~ Come on Already!

I understand now when they say the ninth month makes you ready! I feel so heavy and I'm waddling everywhere, and my arms are constantly going numb/swelling up. The bladder situation isn't too bad, although if I go into a coughing or laughing fit I'm noticing my muscles down there aren't so tight . . . got to get back to those Kegel exercises they told me about in childbirth class.

The baby's movement has also changed due to the tight quarters she's in, and that freaks me out a bit. She's moving less--still enough as far as medical norms go--but not the same as it used to be and I have to remind myself this is normal. Sometimes I shake my stomach ever so slightly to make sure she responds and moves around.
,br> We went to a Christmas party at a friend's house last Saturday, and, while it was fun, I was miserable on the way home! Constant Braxton-hicks and tightening in my abdomen, and the car ride was 45 minutes long. I could have sworn it was two hours! And I wasn't even in real labor . . . makes me wonder about that long 30 minute drive to the hospital we'll have to make eventually. The entire next day after the party I felt pretty bad, too. A lot of false labor stuff, and my hormones seemed all wacky - I just felt like crying all the time. I was just waiting for it to suddenly be real contractions or for my water to break, but when I woke up on Monday all seemed sunny and back to normal. It felt good to feel better, but it was a little frustrating too.

My sister is completely ready for the baby to be born - EVERY time I call her she says "are you in labor"? And I have to say, no, I'd let you know right away if I was, butt it's fun that she's so jazzed about this whole thing!

I think about giving birth a LOT now. I just keep wondering how it's going to go - and if there will be last minute complications. What if the baby gets sick? What if she's s having problems right now and I don't realize something's wrong? What if she's born with some massive problem or deficiency that can't be picked up on an ultrasound? What if she doesn't make it for some reason? I'm not psycho or anything, but these are definitely things I think about even as I get more excited and prepared for her to be here. And there's no preparing for that really, either. I can't even picture it, her being here and we being a family. I can imagine sort of not being pregnant and having a baby, but taking her home and living with her is a whole new area I can't begin to understand. However, everyone's told me that's normal to feel so I figure we'll get it sorted out as it comes along.

Melissa

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