~ Life on the Couch
The weeks start to blend together at this point, as I spent EVERY day doing the same thing - I'd wake up, throw up, take my medicine, and lay on the couch in a state of misery. The only channel "calm" enough for my stomach was HGTV, so I kept that on while I stared at the pretty colors of home makeovers. I would drift in and out of sleep. Thankfully my mom came to the rescue and spent hours at my house every day to keep me company!
The only good thing about the nausea was that I felt so bad that I was unable to worry about miscarrying. If it happened, it happened. I just couldn't drum up emotions past puking and trying not to puke!
The hardest part about the nausea was wondering how long it was going to last. After a week or two of being constantly sick, I started to feel down emotionally. Would this ever end? I did a lot of reading online about hyperemesis gravidarum, which is basically what I have, and some ladies get it for the entire pregnancy! If this was true, I'd probably just die. How could I get through? I started to realize what a wimp I was when it came to endurance. I kind of always knew, but it was quite humbling. There are people feeling as bad as me with chronic conditions that will never go away and I can't see the sunny side of life with morning sickness! And I was pregnant with a beautiful life!
Something that did always make me happy was Tory. He really "manned up" and started doing the housework (the basics - but still, for a guy, hooray!), working hard, and being emotionally supportive of me when he came home. He stopped making coffee in the mornings because I was sleeping on the couch and the smell was just too terrible for me to bear. Not to mention that intimacy was out the window and he was patient about that too! Whenever I was sad or sick, I could think about how much he loved me, and that helped a lot. I spent a lot of time praying, too!