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Melissa's Pregnancy Journal

Weeks 19 - 22
~ Boy or Girl?

Well, as it turns out we were not able to determine if the little peanut is a boy or girl. When we went for the ultrasound the baby was all scrunched up. They had me walk around for a little bit, which helped, but the technician said she couldn't be for sure. She said she was leaning towards a girl. A girl!? I was so sure it is a boy! Well, I go back in a few weeks for a "sex check" and maybe we will get lucky. I almost don't want to bother finding out now, I was so nervous and hyped up that now I just want a healthy baby. And, the ultrasound device hurts my abdomen so bad! She presses down so hard and my whole stomach hurt for a good day and a half afterwards. But Chris really wants to find out. After the ultrasound we went over to Babies R Us and registered for some necessities, a high chair, a co-sleeper, and a pack and play to keep at my Mom and Dad's house most likely. I was so taken aback by the thought of a little girl. Of course I've always wanted a little girl, but when I found out we were expecting I thought for sure it would be a boy that Chris could have to bond and play with. Not to say he won't do the same with a girl, but I guess I just never thought hard about us with a little girl.

We thought about taking a quick trip to D.C. before the baby, but we've opted to wait seeing as how I might not be up for doing walking day trips around the city.

Work has really been dragging me down. I am so behind, and my boss keeps piling things on. It is good to take a quick break and get to write once in awhile. The bonk-bonk from the baby keeps me happy and reminds me that someone is growing within, and is going to be a lively little bundle that will need their Mum and Dad. I've really struggled with where I'm going with my career and with our future once the baby is born. I want to have a secure family, financially and emotionally. I may need to go back to school, but for now I'm going to concentrate on what lies ahead, and then once the baby is here I'll start looking for a position for the fall.

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Last night Chris and I went for the last ultrasound (I think?) The technician asked if we could come in a little early, and as usual we still ended up waiting for 15 minutes. So I knew she would want to rush us, which she did. "What did I say last time? Girl?" she asked us. She had me roll over on both sides, because the baby was still in a bad position. This time the bum was right under my belly button, making the sex even harder to determine. However, she said after only a few minutes that she thinks the baby is a girl. I wanted to ask, "how sure are you?" but I guess she must be pretty experienced with these things. Chris seems to be excited; he's always thought it was a girl. Since the last ultrasound I've had visions of pink frilly dresses and playing tea party, so I wasn't sure what I'd have done if she said "boy." But now I am worried once we announce the news, that we'll end up with all pink things, and then knowing my luck, the baby will come out a boy. Oh bother! Maybe this whole "wanting to find out" thing was a bad idea!

The baby kept me awake for the first time last night, or she woke me up rather. At 4:00 AM she was bonking around on my left side. Between that and the horrible heartburn I've been getting even from water, I've had some trouble sleeping. But the feeling of those little kicks are such a good reminder that she is in there growing. Chris felt her move for the first time two days ago. I keep trying to at night, but they are still so faint for him to feel. But this time, he said he felt something at the tips of his fingers, a little flutter. So, now we just have to deal with agreeing on a name!! Till next time

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