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Melissa's Pregnancy Journal


Week 18
~ Flying By

Wow! 18 weeks already. It is hard to believe that things are rolling right along and it sure seems to be rolling faster than my other pregnancies. I know that we can only go one week at a time but it does seem faster this time. Maybe it is because we have so much on our plates with kids activities, life in general and we did wait to tell everyone for quite some time; it's only been a month now.

I forgot to mention in my last few posts about the baby moving around. I went to my appointment last month to hear the heartbeat and I told my nurse that I was already feeling some movement, she notated my chart and then when my doctor came in she said that she did not expect me to be feeling anything at the time. I was confused because I was already feeling movement! She then said that by the time I come in for my next appointment that I should be feeling some movement but not anything real regular. Well, I have been regularly feeling my baby moving around since my last visit, and I was 1 day shy of 16 weeks at that time. I can pull my shirt up in the mornings and see the baby rolling around and kicking. When I eat it happens again and if my jeans are snug or one of the kids sits by me and presses my stomach with their arm the baby will kick in that very spot. I know that it is wishful thinking but maybe I am a little further along than what my first sonogram stated, wouldn't that be great!

My belly is growing daily, at least that's what my sweet hubby rolled over and said this morning. I think so too though. I still haven't gained any weight back yet. I can guarantee that I am eating though. Really well!! I am still craving fried chicken and hot sauce. It is oh so good! Because of my weight loss at the beginning of my pregnancy I can still wear my regular clothes but I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to. I have been picking up different maternity items here and there so I have things that I do wear for the sake of comfort from time to time. The doctor also told me last month that I will want to purchase a belly strap/band. She told me that with baby number three or four that the pressure that moms feel is much sooner because of the uterus already having done this stretching out before. The pressure normally comes in the last month or so with the first or second baby. I personally don't recall the pressure happening any sooner with my third even. But . . . I know that this baby is definitely causing some early pressure! She told me around 20 weeks I would need this strap thing. Can you tell I haven't even looked for one yet? I didn't need one with my others so I don't even know what they are called but I will be finding one and soon. About two weeks ago I began to notice that when I was up and about doing my mom stuff like laundry, mopping and sweeping that I would feel this pressure and I would rest for a while but it is really uncomfortable. I am quite eager to find one of the straps and test it out; I pray that it helps! I will let you know.

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One week and one day from now we should know what we are having. The anticipation is almost too much to bear! People offer their opinion so often. I had someone literally arguing with me the other day because we are going to find out what we are having when we have our sonogram. They felt like we should just be surprised. Well, I'm sure that is an awesome experience but we have chosen to find out. This little lady seemed almost offended because we already had boys and girls so we should just wait . . . again this was her opinion and I was able to keep my composure and smile at her and let her know the good Lord willing we will find out very soon what God will be sending our way by December 2. Those prayers for patience are being answered on a regular basis Thank God!!

I truly do not know where I would be without him. I can't send in a post without giving God glory for my life and family. I feel so blessed to be surrounded by so much love each and every day. There are people in this world that never experience true unconditional love and I feel like God has shown me so much favor and I am just bubbling over with the love that he has sent to me. I have suffered and felt unloved at times in my life. I was abused as a child and God brought me through. My parents separated when I was 9 and divorced shortly after. This all came within a year of my telling a counselor at school about the abuse so for years even though I was told by many people that the divorce was not my fault I felt like it was. I had to grow up really fast because of the "junk" that I had to deal with as a child. My childhood was taken from me. But God...I love that, But God had a plan for me! You see I have done my best over the years to learn from things. I cannot change others, their negativity, their bitterness, their behavior but, I am in control of me. I went to counseling for years because of the abuse and I feel like that taught me to be open with others. I have spent many nights crying out to God asking, why me? Now that I am getting older and maturing in the Lord I know why it was me. The devil wanted to destroy me from the very beginning when I was young and innocent. I did struggle for years with different feelings of abandonment and shame and but the whole time God kept me and had a plan for me. I see now that I may be the voice for others that have been or are being broken and abused to give them HOPE! The times that we are at our weakest God can and will place people in our lives to help bring us through the hard times and help us to open our spiritual eyes to see what he has in store for us. He wants us to flourish. He has so much for us. In his word he tells us that worry is of the devil. He wants us to look to him in our times of need and believe that he will provide for us no matter what that need is. I have learned to cling to God and cry out to him and you will get results. If you haven't tried it please do, you will not be disappointed! Matthew 11:28 says, "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest". Rest this week in his arms knowing that all of your needs he will supply, he has and is doing it for me and my family and he will do it for you and yours as well! May God Bless You!!

With a smile,
Melissa
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