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Birth Story, Part 3
~ After the Birth
I wasn't able to see Sean for quite awhile. The doctor and nurses were working hard on him, and his condition was more serious than we had realized. He had passed a lot of meconium, but we hadn't seen it because most of it was behind him. It was thickly coating the cord and placenta and of course, the baby, and Sean had inhaled and swallowed quite a bit. They worked on him for awhile at my bedside, but since there wasn't much space, the nurse had to stand between the baby and me. Aside from the glance of his bottom half as he was rushed away, I was able to catch a glimpse of his toes now and then, but nothing else. Everyone else, of course, had a clear view! My dad brought in Tommy, which probably wasn't the best idea. He took one look at everything that was being done to the baby, tubes being inserted, etc, and he got a look of fear and confusion on his face. He immediately looked away and saw my mom on the other side. She gave him a big smile to reassure him that everything was ok, and then someone took him out. He was just fine in the long run, but I think he saw a bit more than he was prepared for!
 After about half an hour, they finally handed him to me bundled tightly in a receiving blanket and with a hat on his head. They still hadn't bathed him so I was able to smell that new baby smell. They told me I had about 60 seconds with him before they had to take him into the nursery, but when my dad started snapping pictures they said, "Oh, 60 more seconds, then we have to take him." I was surprisingly ok with all of this. While I do wish I could have held him all squirmy and slimy immediately after birth, and while I wish I had more time with him initially, unlike with Tommy, I knew it was necessary that we be separated. Tom, of course, went with him to the nursery and was talking to him and soothing him while they worked on him there. They gave him some glucose water then suctioned his stomach as well as further suctioned his lungs. Tom said there were chunks of meconium coming out of him. He also had a chest x-ray done to make sure they got all the meconium. They showed Tom a vial of what they got out, and they said it was a substantial amount. Had there been any indication of just how much meconium, they would have not been so casual about letting me labor. I probably would have been convinced to have a cesarean for the safety of the baby.
 When he was brought back to me, it was Tommy who wheeled in the bassinet wearing his new "I'm the BIG Brother" shirt, a surprise gift from my parents, and his little Hanes undies. It was quite hot in the hospital, and he had taken off his pants! He had a smile from ear to ear! While Sean was in the nursery, people were able to go back and forth to see him. My mother got in trouble for not wearing shoes. She hadn't even realized she didn't have them on! And someone, I believe it was my second doula, got in trouble for bringing Tommy into the nursery. No children are allowed. Someone else got in trouble for going in because only one person was allowed in at a time. We were just a group of trouble makers I guess.
 I nursed Sean almost immediately when he was handed to me, and he latched on like a pro. Tommy climbed right up in my lap as well asking to hold his little brother. He hasn't stopped asking yet. He adores Sean and wants to hold him constantly. When he isn't holding him, he is playing with him, looking at him, rocking him and often doing all of this a bit too enthusiastically!  There is no jealousy, although if we aren't paying enough attention to Tommy, he will bonk Sean on the head because he knows it means we will give him a lot of attention and fast! Tommy has no problem sharing nursing with Sean. I nursed them together several times in the hospital and the entire time Tommy would point to Sean and just giggle. He instructs me to nurse Sean now when Sean is upset. He seems to prefer to nurse with Sean now to nursing without him. Tandem nursing is actually easier than I expected. I place Tommy in the cross-cradle position across my lap and then I place Sean in the football hold on the other side with his head lying on Tommy's lower abdomen. While they nurse, Tommy will either hold Sean's hand or more often will stroke the top of his head. I will also nurse them lying down. I lie on my side tummy to tummy with Tommy on the bed and then I'll place Sean on top of Tommy. Tommy just loves this and wraps both his arms around Sean in a gentle bear hug. They both love to nurse this way, but it is a little uncomfortable for me and I feel like a sow, mostly because Sean makes so many piggy noises trying to keep up with my overly powerful letdown. The picture of the two of them like that is just priceless. I wish I could take a photo, but it would never turn out the way it does from the view I have when they nurse together!
 Sean is now three weeks old and a big healthy boy! He gave us a little worry after one of his test results came back showing that he had an infection. In general they say the baby is clear when twenty-four hours of tests show no problems. It was his last test that showed an elevated number so we had to take him back to the doctor a few times to make sure that number was decreasing. Fortunately it did. He also had a touch of an eye infection. His eye was very goopy and we were given some antibiotic eye cream to administer four times a day. After a week it was better, but still present and we were told that it was now just a blocked tear duct. It is now in both eyes, but is much better. He hardly ever has the goop now. He has been steadily gaining weight at the rate of a pound a week (counting from his low weight, all babies lose some weight after birth initially).  At two weeks he was nine pounds, fourteen ounces, just an ounce less than Tommy was at birth. He has a head of straight brown hair and blue eyes. I suspect his hair will lighten a little, and I wouldn't be surprised if it curls up some as both Tom and I have wavy to curly hair, and Tommy has very curly hair. He looks very similar to his big brother, and initially my mother said he reminded her exactly of me, but since he has chubbed up she doesn't see as much of a resemblance. He has the same upper lip as Tommy (my dad's) and the same chin (Tom and I have similar chins) and he definitely has my eyes. He has my curved peanut toes as well which I get from my father. He doesn't seem to be as thickly built as Tommy either (Tom is very thick limbed with wide feet, hands and fingers). I think as he grows it will be very apparent that they are brothers, and I can't wait to see them playing together!
 I am including several pictures. I have to include one of my labor assistants. The power of woman (and Tommy) was very apparent in that delivery room! I would have never done it without these women, and I also couldn't have done it without Tommy, my little power nurser. He kicked the contractions into overdrive and saved me from the dreaded pitocin! Right after Sean was born, my doula leaned over and exclaimed, "We did it!" She then immediately apologized and said, "No, you did it." I corrected her. Indeed we did it. I could have never done it without the support of everyone, my doulas, my mother, Tommy, my husband and father who were off in the wings, the OB, the wonderful nurses.
The next day, which was actually my birthday, I received the greatest gift. The wonderful nurse who had been with me during the day shift was my post-partum nurse that day. When she first entered the room in the morning, she was grinning from ear to ear. She had been calling all afternoon and evening to find out if I had delivered yet. She also told me that I had inspired her. She had been planning on just scheduling an elective repeat cesarean when she gets pregnant again. Her first baby was 8 lbs 6 oz just like Sean, and she was convinced that her pelvis was just too small. After my birth, she changed her mind!
I want to thank everyone who has read this journal and emailed me. I have tried to reply to all the emails, but I am sure I have missed a few. The support I have gotten throughout this pregnancy has been wonderful. I especially want to thank StorkNet for giving me the opportunity to share my pregnancy and birth story, and I hope that my experience has inspired others as well to educate themselves on their options and stick up for themselves throughout their pregnancies. Sean's birth has helped me heal even more from Tommy's birth, but there will forever be a feeling of sadness, helplessness, disappointment and anger when I think of my first delivery. If I only knew then what I know now!
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