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Week 37
~ Pregnancy is Going Well
I haven't written in a few weeks and I feel really bad about neglecting this journal. I just have no motivation to write. I'm depressed again, but not a desperation type of depression, but a boredom and worry kind. I have no motivation physically to do anything, but a lot of mental desire to get the house cleaned up. That's one of the ways I deal with stress. It's been a strange few weeks. Tom is still out of work and that is really pressing on my mind, but I'm trying to not let it. I think I'm remaining almost too calm about things. I know he is very worried as well, but we pretty much don't talk about it much.
Everything seems to be going well with the pregnancy. I'm almost 38 weeks now. I last wrote after my week 34 appointment so I'll fill in what has happened each week from there on. My next appointment was at 35.5 weeks and I finally gained some weight! A whopping 0.5 lbs! My doula came along to that appointment and she and the nurse just laughed because they had never seen a pregnant woman cheer about gaining weight. Now I'm only down 32.5! We had to wait forever for the doctor that day, but I didn't mind too much because we were able to talk. My doula liked the OB and thinks we can definitely work with her. This was actually our first official prenatal meeting (the doula and I not the OB and I), but it didn't feel like it because we have emailed and talked on the phone so many times. We have to schedule our last prenatal for some time next week. I'm getting so close! Everything was fine at the appointment. No protein or sugar in my urine, blood pressure was good. The OB felt my belly some and declared that the baby wasn't overly large and was definitely still head down. I hide babies well though. Most people still don't think I'm pregnant and if they do they don't think I'm as far along as I am. Both my doula and the OB got a kick out of listening to the heartbeat. There was a ton of static because the baby was moving so much. They thought it was so great and were so surprised about how much movement there was and I wasn't quite as thrilled since the kicks actually hurt me. I feel more than I'm supposed to or something and the kicks really seriously hurt sometimes. It's not just discomfort. When the baby kicks into my gall bladder area (or where my gall bladder used to be) it sometimes feels like I'm having another attack. I need to talk to the doctor again about that. I guess it is just scar tissue, but the pains can get quite severe and sometimes they show up as a sharp pain in my shoulder blade. That can mean a gallstone, but it is extremely rare to get a stone when your gall bladder has been removed. I didn't have a big stone problem either. My gall bladder was infected, but I didn't have a lot of stones.
I had another appointment a week later at 36.5 weeks and this time I remained the same weight again. Everything else looked fine just like the week before. I had my first internal and the OB couldn't even reach my cervix it was so high! I told her I do have an extremely high cervix, but it was also because the baby was high up. I can reach my cervix just fine so I guess my OB has shorter fingers. My former OB never had a problem, but he was a very tall male. I also have very long fingers. She did finally reach it and was surprisingly gentle considering how much she had to dig to get that high. She also didn't have me spread my legs for the internal. Every doctor I've ever been to has had me up in stirrups, but she had me put my heels together and let my knees flop to the side. She said it is more comfortable and easier that way for both of us. It seemed much less invasive actually and I wasn't uncomfortable at all. I'm normally not too uncomfortable with internals, but I'm not thrilled with them either of course! She said I am 0% effaced, fairly firm and pretty much closed up, she thinks if she could actually reach it well she would have been able to get a fingertip in (1cm). I can reach it and I feel that I am 0% effaced, pretty firm and easily a fingertip dilated. In the grand scheme of things this means nothing. I could still go into labor at any point, but I was a little happy not to be very dilated or effaced. The baby has to stay in there until the 18th because that is the day my parents arrive! I'm due the 23rd so they are cutting it close I guess, but I've had a feeling all along that I won't give birth before my due date.
I'll be seeing the OB again in another few days at exactly 38 weeks. I have quite a few things I want to talk to her about so I should probably write them down so I don't forget. I want to discuss an emergency c-section plan and ask about a spinal versus epidural as well as several suturing options. I also want to ask about starting to take evening primrose oil. It is a natural very mild prostaglandin that helps to efface and soften the cervix. I know the midwife would have started me on it at 36 -38 weeks so I want to see what the OB thinks.
There are more developments in the insurance department as well now. It turns out that open enrollment was in the month of July, effective August 1, but Tom's former company never sent us the paperwork so when we called on July 31 they said they would send it immediately and give us to August 30 to get it in. Cobra also just increased from $300 per month to $400 per month and if we switch to the PPO plan it will be $580 per month! If I switch to the PPO I can go back to the midwife, but it will be another $180 a month. I really do feel better about the midwife than the OB, but I don't know if $180 per month is worth that. Especially since Tom still hasn't found a job and we're almost out of money. I just don't know what to do. For now we're hoping he gets a job and if it is a contract with no insurance we will then be able to afford the PPO and we can switch. If it is permanent it will come with its own insurance and if he doesn't get one I guess we'll be forced to stay with the HMO. I like this OB well enough, but it's hard not to go with the midwife who has a 96% vbac success rate (the OB's is around 75%). I was going to call the midwife and talk things over with her, but she is out of town this week so I'll wait until next. She has said earlier that she would take me back when I'm in labor so I guess I can wait and if I feel uncomfortable with the OB this next appointment where I plan on really talking to her about the vbac, I can always switch after that.
In the meantime I'm just hoping time goes by quickly. I'm not really all that uncomfortable considering I'm almost 38 weeks pregnant now, but I do have the normal aches and pains. It's been very hot here and I can't do anything around the house because I just drip sweat all day long. My back is hurting enough that sitting is painful so I alternate sitting, being on hands and knees or knee-chest (which feels great on my back) and lying down. Today I took a shower to cool off then laid down in bed with the ceiling fan on me and took a long nap. I wasn't even tired, but what else could I do in this heat! I don't have the energy to take Tommy with me somewhere air conditioned alone and Tom hasn't wanted to go anywhere, but just today he suggested if it is still this hot tomorrow we'll go to the Children's Discovery Museum. I bought a year membership last year so it will be free and I can just sit in the cool air while Tommy runs around and Tom chases him. I hope it isn't so crowded that all the people have heated the place up!
I feel like I have so many things to do still. I need to make a new nursing pillow for starters. After two years of use Tommy finally completely tore the other one I had. I have the fabric and stuffing for it, but I just need to cut it and sew it. But all that stuff is still packed. I haven't started getting out baby clothes yet either. I know where the smaller sized outfits are and they are easy to access so if I did have to rush to the hospital I could always tell Tom or a friend where to find an outfit for the baby. I guess I'm being way too casual about all this, but it is just too hot for me to care about much of anything right now!
I found that while leaning on the birth ball in the knee chest position I can cross-stitch so I am slowly working on the Anne Cloth quilt I started making for my first little girl back when I was pregnant with Tommy. It will have a dozen Victorian era teddies on it, each with a hat and certain flower. The flowers have Victorian meanings such as love, innocence, majesty, etc. I have three teddies done so I doubt it will be finished if this is a girl. Tommy's more boyish teddies in diapers with geese (Tom picked out the designs) that I started on when he was born still aren't finished. I actually finished them before he was a year old, but I never framed them and now we don't have the money to buy frames so it will have to wait longer. I still have to do the birth announcement one, but the other 8 are done. I was going to surround the announcement with the others. I guess it's appropriate that I finish them now that Tommy is almost out of diapers!
Well I guess that is it for these past few weeks. Pretty boring and unmotivating, but that is the story of my life right now. Hopefully I'll have something more exciting to say next week.
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