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Week 36
~ Good Girl Gone Bad


It's Week 36 and boy am I glad it's almost over! It's been the week from H-E- Double Hockey Sticks! It started on Tuesday when we found out Nubby is BREECH! CRAP! Thus, I must go under the knife for a C-Section. SCARY! Doctor Medicine Woman says it's still possible for her to turn over, but that it's unlikely. She recommended a procedure to turn the baby where they place pressure on your abdomen and literally force the baby to turn . . . (awkward pause) . . . Oh no. I don't think so. Yeah, we're not doing that for two reasons: one - it sound like it hurts like heck. And two- what if they turn Nubby the wrong way and break her arm or something worse. So yeah . . . we're not doing that at all. So it's a C-Section or bust at this point.

One Wednesday, my mom called and said she won't be able to make it to New Jersey for the birth. Her boss is under the gun and won't let her have the time off from work. She won't be able to get here until the end of March. DOUBLE CRAP! I was hoping to have my mom here as support for when the baby comes. Since I might have to go under the knife, I'd like her here to hold my hand. Every girl wants her mom to be present for such an occasion. Bummer.

Finally on Saturday, I went to take the GRE General Test since I'm applying for graduate school programs in Fall 2010. As I began, the system glitched and my exam shut down. The proctors danced around trying to figure out what happened. In the end, they sent me home without a score or a solution to the problem except to file a compliant with the test makers. TRIPLE CRAP! That was it. It was too much pressure and I broke into pieces right at the test site.

Thus began my trek back into the world of emotional eating. I have not been a very good girl this week. No Kit Kat bars or soda, but I have been eating carbs again. I've tried to balance by eating lots of fruits and veggies. I did eat a nice healthy salad today, but I also had two slices of pizza tonight as well. That's a guaranteed one pound on my chunky butt. I'm a good girl gone bad, because I'm just so darn sad about everything now. I feel like my hopes for grad school have been flushed down the toilet along with my application fees. Without a reported GRE score it's impossible for a program to review my app let alone make a decision regarding it. My mom can't be here for me when I need her the most and I'm terrified about having a C-Section.

Henry says we're going to be fine. "We're a team, babe, and I'm here for you and Nubby," he says. I believe him, but I just can't shake the sadness away. I couldn't even play video games this weekend. Now I know I'm bummed out if I don't play Wii. Instead all I wanted to do was clean. Henry and I cleaned the entire house. I washed all of Nubby's new clothes, wiped down her furniture, and packed her bag for the hospital. I think our nesting stage has begun and that makes me smile. That means Nubby will be here soon - January 29 to be exact. Her birth gives me hope that everything will work out as it should. Here's hoping - because being this sad and this pregnant is just too exhausting for words.


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