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Nancy's Pregnancy Journal

First Trimester - Week 15
~ Catching Up

As I mentioned in my introduction, back in December I had the flu that was four intense days and then at least a week of just not feeling up to par. Besides that, the calendar was jammed full of basketball games and choir for the younger boys and we were also in the process of trying to help my mom move; needless to say a great deal was happening at our home. The month, before Isabella decided she was done with nursing. We were only nursing before bedtime and if she had stirred in the night on a rare moment it was convenient to nurse then as well. But when they are done, they are done, and I have never found it any fun to continue the process once a disinterest appears. Though with Isabella I had hoped to continue for a while longer because of the Down syndrome and the benefits nursing would give her, but it just didn't work out that way. So I had not even started back into the habit of recording my cycles that had just started back the month before. In the past it has usually taken at least three months to get everything back on track and normal. Obviously not this time!

By mid January I was starting to become concerned about this constant sick feeling I kept having and the days of not feeling good were rapidly increasing. How could I still be having symptoms from the flu? I mentioned it to another mom at a basketball game one night and she thought maybe it had something to do with the intense retching from the flu and maybe my pancreas was bruised so when I put food into my system it was having difficulty healing and processing the heaviness of the food. I had never heard of anything like this and had no idea if it had any validity to it or not. The thought had entered my mind that I could be pregnant but thought nah, that would be crazy.

I went about my business and was coerced to join an exercise/weight-loss Bible study one night a week. The afternoon before the first class the thought of being pregnant came back to me very strongly. So I decided that if it was still on my mind after the evening Bible study I would stop by and pick up a home pregnancy test. I told dear hubby of my suspicions and he was one, a bit shocked and secondly, amused with the whole idea; on the other hand I was not amused one bit. After class the thought was still on my mind so I decided to stop at a nearby Walgreens. I bet I cruised over half the aisles before picking up one of those tests; crazy I know. By the time I arrived home everyone was asleep, very nice! I took a deep breath and decided to take the test right then--no sense in waiting. Talk about a comedy of errors! First I peed on the stick wrong. No I donít know how I did it but I did; so it was a good thing I had a lot of water during my exercise. Good grief! When I did it right, it showed positive, like BAM! No worry about waiting for a result, there it was. Next thought was maybe it was a false positive, not very rational thinking I know. A friend later told me a false positive is impossible; well duh either you're pregnant and HCG is there or you are not and thus no HCG. This all made perfect sense now, but at the time I was in denial. I was not exactly happy but not exactly upset. All I could think about is that the timing was not the greatest. I had plans for the summer, I wanted to teach the kids to water ski amongst a few other things. As for dear hubby, well he still teases me about just how this all happened and that he had nothing to do with it while laughing the whole time. I remind him that there was only one immaculate conception and this one is not it; it takes two to tango.

It took me all of about 24 Ė 36 hours to get over myself and settle into the fact that I was to be a mom again by the end of the year. After Isabella was born, I felt complete and finished as a family. I shared my feelings with God and how he had taken me by surprise; after all this meant that two of our children would share the same birthday month! All of our birthdays are in different months--from February until September we celebrate one birthday a month skip October, then celebrate in November and December taking January off again. Now I know that is more months than family but it includes March for Grandma and December for our Lord's birthday. Anyway I was being selfish and forgot that we had decided that we would let God determine what was best for our family in this area. I know that this might be strange thinking for some but that is okay.

While I was processing all of this I remembered having some of these same feelings when I got pregnant shortly after Noah was born. It took me probably a month to settle into that pregnancy only to have a miscarriage at about 13.5 weeks. I felt horrible like somehow it was my fault because I didn't accept right away. I know that is not true but our minds can really play with us and we have to learn to capture our thoughts and set things on the right path.

Other than the gall bladder attack, my first trimester has been pretty normal. I have been very sick with morning (all day) sickness. Funny they call it morning when it can happen anytime of the day. I find that if I eat often, say every 2-3 hours, I have less nausea to deal with. I also have to keep my water intake up. When I find water just not appealing I place a slice of lemon in it and that helps. It also makes the liver happy! And since there is so much added work on the liver with a pregnancy I prefer to keep it happy. At the beginning of week 14 I felt really good only to have the 'icks' return at the end of week 14. I'm not sure if it has been the time change, the week of basketball tournaments, the pregnancy or all three combined but week 15 has also brought back the need for extra sleep. Each time I don't feel good I remind myself that this should be a good sign because it proves my progesterone levels are up where they need to be which means less chance of a miscarriage. It helps me to not complain as much.

Doc decided to wait until my next visit to schedule the ultrasound, so I am guessing around week 20. I guess since I have already had one, it is easier to wait, and besides maybe I can skip the whole drink all this water and hold it routine. That is the worst feeling when you are pregnant I think. I do hope that I get my doc's favorite sonogram tech; she is good and will respect the notion that I don't want to know the sex of our baby until we deliver. Being that far along it will be easy to determine the sex which is great for some but not so great for me. I like to hear "It's a _____" that moment after the final push! We found out once and it was so disappointing for me to hear those words and already know the answer. It was like I had unwrapped my gift, re-wrapped it and still expected the surprise when I opened it Christmas morning.

Well that's all for this time I really should get supper started! You have a great week and I'll chat next week!


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