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Natalie's Pregnancy After Loss Journal

Week Thirteen
~ Oh Those Hormones!

I'm in quite a mood this evening! I suppose it's a hormonal thing. Let me tell you what is going on . . .

Last week I told you about the OB and the ultrasound report. Well, that same evening I talked to my sister. Basically she told me that my ultrasound report said I had too much amniotic fluid and that I was a high risk patient and that my baby was at a high risk for 'congenital anomalies'. Whoa! I'm going to have to trust my OB, who said it was too early to tell if there was too much fluid (this was at 9 weeks). The other 'bad news' was based on me having too much fluid. And, I think if my OB was even slightly concerned she would have sent me for another ultrasound right away. That's the logic that is getting me through the next month. I'll have another ultrasound sometime at the beginning of January. And my friend who works for another OB said that a lot of the ultrasound techs here are incompetent and the doctor who wrote my report isn't allowed to read any of the ultrasounds of their patients. I don't know, maybe she's just trying to make me feel better.

So, I get to my grouchiness this evening . . . While soaking in the tub I got to thinking about a conversation that I had today. "Do you guys want a boy this time"? "We really don't care." "Oh, I think it would be GREAT if you had a boy this time." What is this obsession with gender? I wanted to scream (yes, scream) at this woman, "After three miscarriages and the 'possibility' of something wrong this time around, do you really think I care about the sex of the baby"? UGH! I'm venting . . . sorry. But I do feel better.

Let me give you my toilet paper update, I'm at 7-3/4 squares. I feel so much bigger than that! I outgrew the one pair of jeans that still fit. Well, I can't button them and be comfortable. And they weren't even 'my' jeans. They were a bigger size that I had when I was pregnant with Chaynee. Sigh . . . My wardrobe is limited until I get a little bigger. I'm afraid no one knows what to get me for Christmas, so I'll be bombarded with the latest Maternity fashions (okay, at least the ones from Target and Sears - shopping here is limited). Maybe I should come up with a wish list?

Thanks for putting up with my crabbiness this week!

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