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Natalie's Pregnancy After Loss Journal

Week Twenty-One
~ We're All Different

Hi! All is well here! Doing great this week. My OB appointment was uneventful, HURRAY! The baby had a heartbeat in the 150's, and my uterus is right where is should be. I can't help but think it is large though just by looking at my naked body! I'm so big! The OB was going to show me my ultrasound report, and I had to admit that I already had a copy. She just laughed at me and told me that she understood my anxiety. Whew - I thought I might get scolded!

We discussed my cramping from the previous week (the pain I was having on the 21st), and she told me that next time I should just lay down, put my feet up, and have something to drink. Sounds good to me! What do you think Chaynee will say about that? The second I lay down she's all over me with blankets (because now I'm the baby), and she's telling me to go to sleep (I wish!). Needless to say, it's not very restful!

We had people over on Saturday night. There was a couple that we hadn't met before. I overheard my friend say that the woman was pregnant, but I wouldn't have known by looking. I just assumed she was a couple of months along. Later in the evening she asked me when I was due, you know, small talk. Then we got to her due date - NEXT MONTH! My jaw dropped! I felt like such a cow! This woman was so small! I told her she was tiny, and she said it was just how she was dressed.

After most of the crowd was gone I told James that she was due in a month; he didn't even know she was pregnant! Same with my sister-in-law, "She's pregnant?!" It's just amazing how different our bodies can be! I'm sure I've got her outnumbered on the toilet paper scale!

I recently received an email from a disgruntled reader. She said I was too negative, and she didn't like my attitude, etc. She also complained that my journals weren't regular enough. So, here's how it is . . . I'm not going to apologize for my attitude. This is MY journal, with MY feelings. I was asked to write about my pregnancy and my feelings after loss, and that is exactly what I am doing. If I'm annoyed at my sister-in-law, that is my prerogative. (And she knows I'm annoyed, so it isn't a secret!) I don't plan on changing my format (personality), so that, I suppose, is my only apology. Things will remain the same, I'll continue to be honest about my feelings.

And about my updates, they are emailed weekly. Maribeth travels out of town on occasion, and she has also been sick (like so many of us), so she puts them up as soon as she's able. I'm thrilled that people are so interested in me, but sometimes real life takes over, and things get delayed. So just keep watching, the updates will be there, sooner or later!

Okay, I'm better now. I was truly shocked by this woman's email. If you don't like me, don't read my journal! Okay, that's a bit harsh, but I'm sure you can understand. A personal attack regarding my journal is just weird to me.

My next OB appointment isn't until the 24th, and I'll be doing the Glucola test. YUK! Drinking the sweet stuff isn't as bad as I had expected, however the finger prick is awful! I'm such a wimp!

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