~ Holding My Breath
I'm starting this entry on a rather confused note. I assumed that since I turned 7 weeks pregnant on Sunday, October 23, the following week would be week 7. Now, from what I'm reading on-line the week of the 16th to the 23rd would be week 7 and I should now be writing my entry for week 8 as I turn 8 weeks on Sunday, Oct. 30th . . . am I on my seventh week or eight week??? You would certainly thing that pregnancy #10 would be a little more enlightened now wouldn't you, LOL!? I am seriously confused! My last menstrual date was September 4, my expectant due date is June 10th and I am now two days short of eight weeks along (the longest, most nerve wrecking weeks of my life I might add).
Oh well, those thoughts put aside I've had a very "normal" week this week. Pregnancy symptoms have been mild . . . no nausea, a little less hunger but experiencing my first real craving, Rolo ice cream cones! I haven't had the least bit of a cringe for ice cream, chocolate or any other type of sugary sweets since Ava's loss so this was a first that made my whole family smile, well except for me, LOL! I really don't want to get back into eating sweets and unhealthy snacks as my weight had been an issue that I've struggled with for years, mainly because of my weakness for sweets. I'm really hoping to only put on the weight that this baby needs to be healthy. Oh well, time will tell I guess.
I have had some mild cramping which made me nervous even though I do get them in every pregnancy and know they are likely due to normal stretching and pregnancy adjustments. They could also have to do with the fact that my size two low rise jeans are getting just a tad to tight! The thing with low rise jeans is that the cute little bulge can protrude quite nicely above your button fly . I do realize that this size will soon be a thing of the past and once I have a healthy baby in my arms nothing else will matter to me.
It's so strange to me to be pregnant this time around. This pregnancy is consuming my every thought and as a result I find time almost standing still, 32 more weeks to go, honestly?! There is so much going on right now with Halloween preparations and Christmas being less then two months away but yet all I think is "baby"! I think back to this time last year a lot. I had barely found out I was pregnant with Ava and thought I had so much to look forward to, announcing the upcoming birth to anyone that would listen (which made trick or treating a bit of a daunting task from what I remember) but now I'm terrified that anyone will notice my belly and ask because I'm just not as sure about myself and my body anymore. I have bought a few pieces of used maternity clothes and felt so silly/nervous doing so. Am I just setting myself up for another heartbreak? My mother quickly pointed out that no matter the outcome, this baby is mine right now and needs all the love I can give him/her for the best possible start and no matter how hesitant I am, I really do love this little one with all my heart already!! So, I'll try my best not to hold my breath . . . after all, it really isn't a good thing to do while pregnant.