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Noelle's Pregnancy Journal

Week Seven
~ This Changes Everything

It's amazing how much your life changes when you're expecting, even so long before the baby is born. We had always wanted to homeschool our kids. Knowing my limitations, however, and swallowing my pride, I took Nathan to school for a visit. I wanted to see what he thought about it. He was really excited at the prospect of going, and he'll be in the same class as one of our neigbour's boys so at least he won't be alone. He'll be in Senior Kindergarten. I'm kind of depressed about the whole thing. I know I can't teach him well enough with two babies in the house (Sam will only be 16 months) and I wasn't prepared to have to let him go so soon. Hopefully I'll feel better as time goes by. I don't want to make Nate feel like school is bad because of my feelings of not being ready to send him.

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I had a bold stranger stop me on Main Street this week while I was out with the boys. He asked me if I had any hobbies. I told him about some of the things I like doing and he said, "Oh, so you do have a life, so why do you have so many kids"? My stunned reply was something to the effect of loving children and because I can. His reply, "You're an absolute nut case!" In a forced joking voice, I said, "Thanks a lot" and walked away. I felt like everyone who could see us was staring at me. For those of you who are wondering, no, we don't have a t.v.

Living in a two-bedroom apartment was beginning to feel tight already with three kids, but the thought of just one more makes it seem impossible. Oh, I know we could manage it but I don't want to. I told Shawn that I've "put in my order." I prayed that we would be able to find a nice place with more room. We also need another vehicle. If we do that though, I might have to get my license, which I dread. I am an awful driver. I've had my beginners (G1 in Canada) since I was 16 and have tried many times to practice. I panic too easily, am intimidated by transport trucks and I just don't have the confidence I need. People have suggested that I might do better with an automatic. I guess we'll see.

This week I tipped the scale at 144 lbs. That's down another 2 lbs. from last week (3 altogether). I can't say that I mind losing a little weight but I'm still looking for foods that I can handle.

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