Week 13 ~ December 23, 2002 ~ The Christmas Rush . . .
Timing is always everything. After all in the rush of Christmas with three other kids, who can obsess about a pregnancy? I really haven't thought about things too much this week. I am still experiencing a bit of morning sickness which is very frustrating after having a good week last week but it has only been one or two days. Nothing I can't handle. My insomnia has been so bad this week that I have been falling asleep at the same time I put Brigid to bed. No wonder I am up at midnight wandering around. Sure wish I could get some packages wrapped during those hours. The thought is there, but not the energy. It had better show up in the next day or two since I have all the gifts to wrap still.
Christmas is going to be a bit different around our house this year and I am a bit sad about that. We usually have a big Christmas dinner surrounded by friends and any of our family (I only have a cousin and aunt who live in town) that chose to join us. We always go to the Christmas Eve Pageant with the kids and then try to go to Midnight Mass. But Michael has already left to return to work this morning and will not be home until next Saturday. So much of our Christmas celebrations will be done without him. The kids and I aren't sure what to do with ourselves. I think we are all feeling very out of sorts and sort of left out. I am a bit surprised by my family not even calling to find out what is going on. Selfish I know . . . I am trying to be a bit understanding as my cousin was due last week with her first child (she is the same age as me) and doesn't really know what to expect. But I am still feeling a bit sorry for me and my family. Time to shake that off and come up with some great ideas for me and the kids. Feeling sorry for ourselves does not go over well in this house. This situation with my family is a culmination of some years of discontent and lack of understanding. It is nothing that I can solve today or tomorrow and will continue to require a lot of prayer to work through. So today . . . with this entry . . . I am officially letting it go to God for Him to handle. No more worries about it.
The kids are getting excited. Sure they are disappointed about Michael not being here but how can they not be excited at the same time. The Christmas gifts are pretty much bought and I remembered some extra gifts for Brigid's birthday so I don't have to run right out and buy something for her after Christmas. I am going to drag everyone out with me this morning to get another gift for Dad (who knows what, the man is impossible to buy for) and another gift for Godmother Judy. Then I am crying Uncle and calling it quits. I still have to recall where everything is hidden and get it all wrapped. I whined about that already didn't I?
Then I am going to sit back and enjoy this beautiful season with its beautiful blessing of the birth of Christ. I am going to continue to enjoy the thrill as I think about what His birth has meant to me and my family and what a gift it was and continues to be. After all . . . He is the ultimate gift this season and we will welcome him into our house on Christmas day with open arms.