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Paige's Pregnancy Journal

Week 33 ~ May 14, 2003
~ Mother's Day and Losing Pets

Another standard appointment and another boring mom comment. There is just nothing ever going on with me. For that I am so grateful. I had an NST which required a glass of OJ and a small shock to get little Miss moving. I really do not like having to wake them up like that, but I had a Mother's Day Tea to get to that was very important to me and Brigid and she needed to get moving. Naturally, in the way of ornery babies, she was moving great up until the time I walked into the room. NST was fine and my appointment was fine. I have to bump up my dose of insulin to 15 units though. I was sort of disappointed about that but not all that surprised. My fasting levels have not been staying in the 95 range. In fact, in the two weeks since my last appointment I have only had 3 that were below 95. So it is time. I really am glad that I haven't really had to deal with that much insulin resistance with this pregnancy so haven't had to add a daytime dose. I sometimes wonder if I truly understood the diet with Brigid as well as I do now since I did have to have two doses a day. Even now at 33 weeks I am not having the issues I had with her and my sugar levels, and I am still able to have a treat every once in a while. Just one little Reese Cup goes a long way to curbing those sweet tooth cravings.

It has been such a quiet week otherwise. We have been getting some outdoor work done, but it is really so hard for me. I just do not have the drive to garden that I have every spring and I am so sad about that. I love to have a garden and flowers and plan where I am going to put everything. And I just can't seem to get up the enthusiasm. We have some places that need to be cultivated before we can plant them and the idea of going out there with a shovel just blows my mind. Good thing I bought Michael a small cultivator for our anniversary last year while it was on clearance. Think I may have to give it to him a bit early. I have a place that has some wildflowers that reseeded from last year, but this year I have tons of Zinnia seeds that I want to throw down there. So that all needs to be turned over. Michael and the kids got me some flowers for Mother's day and I am very grateful for that. But of course before they can be planted I have to empty most of my planters since the dirt in them is several years old. This requires that I go and buy new dirt . . . accomplished this yesterday. But couldn't get the garden cart hooked up to the lawn mower this morning so that I could just drive around the garden and empty the planters into that instead of having to pull it in the hand cart. Naturally today is my last free day until Friday for getting this done. Maybe Michael will have some time to empty the planters tomorrow. Filling them is a lot more fun anyway! I still do not have the Monkey Grass trimmed. Out of 100+, I was able to do 15 of them . . . in four days. You do the math. Obviously the bending over is not happening. Brigid and Caitlyn are dying to help me out in the garden so this weekend when the boys are off playing Civil War, I am going to get out their clippers and let them go to town. It isn't like you can hurt Monkey Grass! Hmm . . . seems that talking about what needs to be done in the garden is all I seem to do.

Well, we have lost two more animals this week. My old, orange tom cat that would not live in the house pulled a cat-move and wandered off to die. We could see it coming and he was probably close to 20 years old, but it still makes me so very sad. Michael and I have been together 18 years and he has been around all that time. He was probably close to two or even older when I got him which puts him at least 20 years old. He was tired and grouchy but still loved to be held and cuddled for a few minutes every day. He had his own doghouse in the backyard and would come when called. I keep opening the back door and expecting him to be there meowing for food. And this afternoon Caitlyn, Briggie and I went to get Flip (our hamster) out of his cage to take him outside in his ball and he was almost dead. So we wrapped him in a towel and sat and held him until he died and now all of us are crying. In the space of 30 days we have lost a cat, a ferret and a hamster. All so very silly how it affects our family but all of us really take our pets into our lives and make them part of the family. That is something the kids have really learned from Michael and I . . . that they deserve all the love and respect we can possibly give them. And we really incorporate them into our lives. It is so hard losing them and I have just cried so hard over these three animals. I wonder if God is trying to lessen the load for us, knowing that we are bursting at the seams. Hard to see the good in losing animals but I am trying.

Think I need to go and enjoy a good cry and a glass of NA wine in the bathtub . . .

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