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Paula's Pregnancy After Infertility Journal

Week 20
~ Half way there!

Wow! I can't believe I've hit the mid-point of pregnancy. I've done exactly nothing to get ready either. We have all the baby necessities from Julia. I need to set up diaper service, but that can wait. Last night, Jeff and I stopped in at Burlington Coat Factory to check out bedding sets and strollers, but that's about it. His mom is buying us the stroller so we just need to pick it out.

I had a great Graco combination stroller/buggy for Julia. It was so well loved, we finally ended up putting it out for the big garbage day pick-up in town this year. Although BCF had a really large selection of strollers, none were the combination style. I'm wondering if they've stopped making that kind. I'll have to do a little searching online for it.

From a physical standpoint, I've been feeling pretty well. The contractions have been pretty minimal, but still there. As I get closer to 23 weeks, I'm getting more nervous about that. I'm feeling more tired than I did with Julia. In fact, when pregnant with her, I had a ton of energy during the second trimester. I was a little worried that my TSH (thyroid function test) was creeping up a bit, but I had my blood drawn a week ago and everything looked fine.

I was complaining of feeling tired to three of my high school girlfriends when we got together for lunch. In unison they said, "Paula, you're pregnant and you're old!" You know they are good friends when you can laugh right along with them at that. They all had their children while in their mid-20s. I'm sure they are getting a private chuckle at their "old" friend's choice. LOL

Emotionally, is another story. I have been feeling increasingly more irritable, short-tempered and with little to no patience. I really dislike feeling this way, but it just seems to come on me. Ugh! I hate that.

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Today, Jeff and I got into a disagreement. I was feeling angry because he didn't see the issue my way. In the midst of the argument, he stated that I'd been getting more irritable and difficult to deal with lately. So then I turned on him saying, "So you've been lying to me when you've said I've been doing ok when I've asked?" Poor man, I don't think he really thought that response out very well. I went from angry to tearful in about 30 seconds thinking that he's not been truthful to me.

Additionally, we had the added stress and sadness this week of having to put our cat down on Tuesday. Our old girl had been living on borrowed time for some time now, so while it wasn't a surprise, it still hurt nonetheless. She was somewhere between 18 and 20 years old, so she'd lived a good, long and pampered life with Jeff and later at our house.

Julia is looking forward to getting a new cat. In fact, she has several names picked out based on the potential coloring of the future cat. Miss Kitty was already older when Julia was born so there wasn't a lot of playful interaction between the two. In fact, pre-verbally, Julia would hiss at us when she was annoyed with something we'd done. What a surprise the first time she did that! Jeff looked at me incredulously and said, "Did she just hiss at me?!" Who said kids can't learn from animals? She sounded really convincing - just like the cat.

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