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Paula's Pregnancy After Infertility Journal

Week 21
~ Three Strikes

Strike One

Can I not have a normal pregnancy? A couple of days ago I had the barest, I'm talking light streak or two, of brown spotting. Jeff and I had to look pretty closely - equivalent to squinting on a pregnancy test. OK. So, I pushed that out of my mind. It's ridiculous to keep obsessing, right? The high-risk OB has said the placenta is 2cm above the cervix and moving up. The baby looks great. Why shouldn't I enjoy my pregnancy like every other woman?!

One morning last week we "did the deed," but that description would be an exaggeration. We were trying to be conservative and a flashback to high school would be more like it if you know what I mean. Anyway I didn't have any continuous contractions like I'd had with Julia. All was well until I went to the bathroom and there were streaks of red blood (not tons or anything) and if that weren't enough, I passed a small clot! Not huge, about the size of a small watermelon seed. Ugh! Naturally, I called my OB's nurse and she returned my call quickly.

It's apparently all related to doing the deed even though we technically didn't do "it." She told me I had to abstain for a week with no exertion, strenuous activity or heavy lifting. Strangely enough, vacuuming is ok. I just can't lift it. Huh?

I'm relieved, but frustrated. I haven't been exerting a thing, haven't been strenuously active nor have I lifted anything heavy. The other week when I picked up my sister's cat (12-15 lbs) Jeff started objecting and my sister took her out of my arms. Seriously, we're talking about a cat for crying out loud.

About two hours later, the nurse called back and after reviewing it with the doctor, the no sex restriction is indefinite. I can "discuss it with her on Friday." *sigh* Am I destined to have something weird happen every few weeks to cause me to worry this entire pregnancy? Don't answer - this is totally rhetorical.

My doctor's game plan is that once I hit 24 weeks (the age they consider viability) I will go in every other week for the FFT (fetal fibronectin test). If it's negative, I'll be able to go about my business without worrying about going into early labor even if I have pre-term contractions. If it's positive, I'll have more precautions.

So my day started off worrying and wondering when the other shoe will drop.

Strike Two

We've had quite a bit of rain the past few weeks and I haven't been out to my garden. I had noticed that a couple of my clematis were drooping while another was in full bloom. While Julia was playing with the neighbor twins, I decided to investigate. Well, it wasn't too difficult to figure out what happened and who'd done it. Three of my plants were neatly severed at the bottom about 8 inches from the ground. They weren't eaten; just cut. I couldn't even try to rationalize that the rabbits were hungry. Argh! So as I walked back to the house trying to stay calm. First thinking that things could be worse and everything was fine with the baby and that's the important thing. Secondly, I tried to remember the product I'd heard about that deters bunnies in the garden, the entire time Elmer Fudd's mantra "Kill the wabbit," was running through my mind.

Once inside, I was at the kitchen sink looking out the window when I noticed Larry, the twins' father coming across our lawn. That could only mean one thing. They weren't in their yard (two houses down) AND they weren't in our yard.

Strike Three

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We found their bikes in the middle neighbor's driveway (backyard), but no children to be seen. We walked around to the back of the neighbor's yard and Larry looked into the bushes between my yard and the neighbor's yard. No children. Larry thought he heard giggles, but there were a number of other children outside playing behind our houses so it was difficult to tell.

He went home to check around and I started searching our yard, the garage and Julia's playhouse. I couldn't even imagine that they could stay quiet for so long. In the meantime, my anxiety on two fronts was increasing. Where was my girl? And I was supposed to be taking it easy and here I was going back and forth, retracing my steps looking for them. 15-20 minutes had gone by and my imagination was starting to get the better of me. While my girl is very friendly, the twins aren't and I felt reasonably certain they hadn't gone with anyone. I decided to check the bushes one more time from my side of the yard. That's when I heard the "shhhhhhhh." Larry was headed back through the neighbor's yard and we met over there. He'd found them, too. They had been watching the whole time. I know they were just playing what they thought was a harmless game, but it was the "perfect" end to a "perfect" day. I was never so relieved to end a day in my life.

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