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Four Months
This River Isn't Run Dry

They call this the "Golden Age". Our baby is no longer a newborn, but instead she is considered an infant. She is getting stronger and is getting her muscles ready to be mobile. She is using her personality to show what she likes and what she doesn't like. Now, when she laughs, she is really excited where she screams in excitement. I really love this phase, she loves interacting with mommy, daddy and whoever else is with us. At the same time she can stay put in one place, because I know before long, she's going to be an active little investigator.

One thing that has really changed since last journal is Adisyn's sleeping arrangement. We transitioned Adisyn from the co-sleeper, then to the pack-n-play and finally into her own crib. At the beginning of April, she started sleeping from about 9pm to 5 am. Now, we have a good routine down where after she eats, she takes a bath, then is in bed by 8pm and sleeps to 6. We have learned that if she's over-tired then it's so much harder to get her to fall asleep. It's been a learning experience and at the same time trying to coordinate her day time routine so that she can get to sleep at about the same time every night. She doesn't nap too well during the day and we found that getting her to sleep in her crib, rather than allowing my mother-in-law to let her nap in her arms, or anywhere else for that matter, has helped. So, even though she doesn't nap too long, as long as she is napping then she goes to bed most of the time, on schedule. For the most part, my mother-in-law is doing better with the whole routine of eat, play, nap. It has really been such a joy for my mother-in-law to be such an active part of Adisyn's life.

As Adisyn approached the four month mark, I noticed my milk supply was diminishing. I was once pumping an average of 4oz at work in the morning, then about 3oz in the afternoon. Then, all of the sudden, I noticed I'm barely getting 2oz. Knowing the laws of supply and demand I realized that as Adisyn is sleeping more, then I'm obviously not feeding her as much. But, as we are considering adding rice to her diet, as the Pediatrician suggested, I was worried I wasn't going to have enough for my mother-in-law during the day, then spoon feeding at night. After talking with a couple of my friends it seems like they either have given up breastfeeding by this point, because they felt like they didn't have enough milk supply, or they're not in the same situation because they're working part-time, so they are actually nursing more. I emailed a local La Leche representative to explain my dilemma. I was a bit hesitant to contact someone because I know how hard core breastfeeding advocates can be. I was afraid I was doing something wrong or she was going to tell me that I was running dry. But, I didn't want to give up and I wanted to see if there was something I could do to improve my supply. To my relief, the rep was very nice and reassuring that not only I was doing everything right but that this is her second most asked question (her most asked question is how to get a better latch). With her support, I decided to pump before I go to bed (at about 10pm) and whenever I can on the weekend (which doesn't always happen, but when we start rice, I'm going to be more consistent with this). The rep informed me that as a baby is getting towards four months, your body is becoming more efficient so it knows exactly how much milk she needs, but at the same time it can tell the difference between pumping and actually nursing. This means that Adisyn is getting enough milk, but my pumping isn't as efficient. So, at least I know I'm not running dry; instead my body is doing what it's made to do. It's such an amazing thing!

Speaking of my milk supply, Mark and I are trying to plan our anniversary in August. Since it's our 10 year, we wanted to do something big. I don't like the idea of leaving Adisyn and I'm worried about the whole nursing situation. I worry that I won't build up enough milk to last the whole week of us being away from her. I only want to use formula as a last resort. Then, the more I think of it, I think it's really going to bother me to leave her for that long. There's some type of attachment syndrome that I adopted, which probably can be blamed on all those hormones again. I also realize that our history with loosing Ada plays a role because it makes it so much harder to leave Adisyn. So, for now, we're going back and forth between going just the two of us or bringing Adisyn along. If we do bring Adisyn, next year, when I'm no longer nursing, will be slightly easier to vacation without her, if we choose. But, if we bring her this time, will we be able to vacation with her being such a young age? We go back and forth on what we want to do.

So, as Adisyn is learning to adapt to her new world and is growing stronger, my body is also adjusting to this healthy baby that I have been nourishing for the past four months, which is a huge confidence booster. As we enter this new chapter in Adisyn's life as she is in infancy, we are amazed by her every day. She is more precious to us than we could have ever imagined!


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