This past month Adisyn is officially walking! She of course crawls still to play, because it's so much quicker, but she can take many steps, if she feels like it. I know everyone always says that, once they start walking then you'll really be in trouble, almost like they dread it. But, to me, I love it! Instead of a little baby who is stuck in one spot, I have a curious little girl who is now capable of exploring the world around her. She can play, socialize and discover the unknown. It might be difficulty to actually keep her put or occupied while attempting to do things around the house, but who cares!? That's just part of it and I really love it!
I really enjoy Christmas time! I always loved the excitement growing up and it seems when you're an adult you lose some of that holiday spirit. Mark has to work a lot around the holidays so he unfortunately relates the holiday season to that. But now, it's different. I didn't realize how much of the anticipation builds up now that we'll be celebrating Adisyn's first Christmas. We are making memories and starting traditions now! How exciting is that?! Imagine going back to when you were a child and being able to do things the way you wanted to do them? That's what it feels like. We feel like kids again!
We decided we really want to make Christmas special for Adisyn so that she loves it as much as we do. One thing that we decided to do and we want to start the tradition off when she's young, is that she understands the meaning of Christmas. Mark and I have been talking about this for some time and then I got a message from my sister telling us that she is trying to get my niece, Kylli, to appreciate less materialistic things during Christmas time so she is limiting her spending. I just thought this was such a great idea because we wanted the same thing and to know my sister is on the same page just gave us the push we needed to come up with some ideas. To begin, we adopted a family in which we bought Christmas gifts for the family. Adisyn went with me as we picked out the gifts for the children. We want to be a part of this as a family every year so Adisyn will grow up and look forward to this.
We also decided that we are only going to buy a few things for her. We don't want her to think of Christmas as a time when she gets infinite toys that she doesn't even need. At the same time we do want to get her a few things so that she will get the thrill of the excitement of a few new things. What we really want to focus on is, like I said, what Christmas is all about. We want it to be a celebration of Jesus's birthday and not about proving your love through materialistic things. We have what we want in our family and we want to share that with others.
We made a lot of our gifts too. For the grandparents we made handprint designs for the 4 seasons on a page so they could hang it up like a picture. Also, I made a book with pictures from this past year to give to them. We also made some baked goods to give to some people in the neighborhood. It was fun doing these crafts and I hope that when Adisyn gets older she'll like it too!
Since my last journal we set up a plan for the mother-in-law situation. We decided that after Adisyn turns one she's going to start daycare. Originally the plan was after a few months she'd start, then it changed to a year. Ideally, if I could be home with Adisyn all the time, that would be great. Or, if Mark's parents actually lived close to us (and they didn't have to live with us) then we'd rather them watch her. But, the reality is that they live two hours away and we need to have our private space to live as a family. We are reclaiming our home so it can be the place where we come to relax and for privacy because for the past year we haven't been able to enjoy any of these luxuries. The therapist, whom I mentioned in my last journal, made me realize that starting daycare was the right decision. Besides, we are looking on the bright side that Adisyn will get to socialize and she will learn so much in daycare. We look forward to the crafts she will bring home so we can post it on our refrigerator. We are ready for this new journey. I learned to stop doubting myself and to make decisions as parents, not allowing my mother-in-law to influence our decision. Now that we have a plan, I feel a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders. Family time if a valuable commodity and it's most important to us.
Since my last journal I still haven't had a visit from AF. Some of the people I share this with are shocked, while others tell me that it's completely normal. The uncertainty is what is worrisome; I just want to know everything is working correctly. I decided that I've refused to take a pregnancy test, until I really "know". I admit that I look at my stomach and think "am I bloated?" and if I feel nauseous I wonder if I really am. But, I'm not going to think about it, because I've been through this before and when it's time for me to know, I will know. Is it too much to ask for a normal, healthy pregnancy that I don't have to go a high risk doctor, I don't have to be induced and I will be able to conceive quickly? Why is it that since we are ready to have another baby everyone is pregnant "quicker than expected" this time around? For now, when I know, you will know.
As the Christmas time approaches I look back on the year and feel so blessed. Motherhood has been even more fun and exciting than I would've ever expected. Mark and I make a pretty good team and I couldn't have asked for a better, more loving and supportive husband. We have a wonderful, healthy, growing girl who we are so proud to call our own. We look forward to what the New Year is to bring!
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