Entry 5 - April 22, 2011
~ Spring = New Possibilities
As spring time approaches, so does the possibilities. Since my last journal entry, I went to my OB on day 21 of my cycle for a blood test to look at my progesterone levels. When the results came in a few days later, I found out that mine were low, indicating that I did not ovulate. So, because of this, they decided to put me on Clomid, which should help with ovulation. After researching the side effects, from hot flashes and increased likelihood of twins, we decided it was still worth a try. Since I knew I didn't ovulate last month, I didn't have much anticipation for this month, but there was there's always that small chance that I might be pregnant. When I finally got my period (still later than normal) I knew we were ready to start plan B, Clomid. I started the medication on day 3 of my cycle and will go back for another blood test on day 21 to see if my progesterone is up after taking the medication. While I felt the disappointment that I wasn't pregnant, I was trying to remain optimistic and hopeful with the possibility of finally getting the help that we needed.
To tell you the truth, I was a little hesitant about going to my OB in the first place. I was questioning if I should even go or whether we should just keep trying on our own. After discussing it with Mark and remembering what my OB said, there was no use putting ourselves through this every month without knowing if everything was functioning correctly, it all made sense. I now know I made the right decision to know and now that we do we have a renewed hope.
I've heard mixed feedback on Clomid, because everyone seems to know someone who has been on it. Some have told me that as soon as they took it they were pregnant within the next month. At the same time, I've also had others say that they've been on it and did not get pregnant but then when they decided to take a break from it, they got pregnant. Giving that information, I want to remain hopeful.
Still, as I'm optimistic about our new possibilities, I recognize that not being pregnant now means I won't be having a baby within this year (finding out I was pregnant this month would have meant the baby would've been due in December). Given that, it just seems to prolong the process; next year seems so far away when trying to conceive. I think this bothers me more because in December I will turn 32 and even though that it not considered old when trying to conceive now, I worry about future pregnancies. Since I was considered high risk in the past, because Ada was so small, I am looking at the future and realizing that a third pregnancy may come around the time when I will be considered high risk, and I'm apprehensive about going through that again.
All of that aside, I feel that with the spring time, comes a new found hope. It's so easy to get discouraged so we need to look for things to give us hope. Bryon Pulsifer said "Look forward to spring as a time when you can start to see what nature has to offer once again" and with this inspiration I hope that spring time will give us some good news to share with you next month!