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Rebecca's Pregnancy After Loss Journal

Weeks 10 & 11
~ Scary Times before our Baby Moon

I had a very stressful and scary start to my week. I woke up Monday morning to find out I was bleeding. It wasn't very much, it seemed like it just started, and it was a deep color. I was unable to get a hold of Mark so I texted my sister and told her to call me work. I didn't realize how scared I was until I finally got to talk to her and I just started crying! I felt the same terrified emotions that I had with Ada because I was so scared for my baby. You feel so helpless because you are doing all you can to be healthy to allow your baby grow and then something like this happens and you know there is nothing you can do about it. My sister suggested that I call my doctor, just to see what they say. After I called them, I quickly got a call back saying that the doctor wanted me to come right in. In a way it scared me knowing the doctor wanted to see me. At the same time I was thinking that she just wanted to give me some reassurance that everything was okay.

I went to the doctor on my lunch break and Mark was very busy that day traveling locally with his company, so I knew he wouldn't be able to come, but I let him know what was going on. I sat there and I felt so scared but I held in the tears. Then, while I was waiting, I saw Mark come around the corner! He got his morning completed early so he could stop by on the way to his next location. I was so relieved and excited but then the comfort of his hand made me cry! I realized how serious this was and I wasn't able to share with him my fears all day because it happened so quickly. I felt so much better having him there.

The first thing the doctor ordered was an ultrasound and the tech was so calming and optimistic. When she looked on the screen our baby was there healthy and kicking like crazy! This was so much more movement than we've seen on the previous ultrasound, which was so encouraging! The baby's heartbeat was strong and the baby actually grew from the ultrasound the previous week!

I spoke with the doctor and she feels that the cause of the bleeding is because of the location of the placenta. The bad news was that I am restricted to light activity through the end of the first trimester, when the placenta will be more developed. Any increased activity could cause more bleeding. To me, this felt like it was so long away. I am a very active person and I enjoy working out because it makes me feel so much better. But, when I stopped to think about it, I'll be done with the first trimester in only 2 weeks, so that's not so bad!

The other thing that concerned us was that we're going to Mexico this week. We are usually very active on vacations and plus being away from home when this was going on worried us. But, after talking to my doctor, she didn't seem too worried about it at all. Her best advice was "don't drink the water" so in other words, we shouldn't worry about it.

I continued to have very light bleeding for the rest of that day and some on Tuesday as well. Logically I know that this is something that I normally wouldn't have worried about because it was so light. But, the emotions it brought back were terrifying! Even though "taking it easy" is difficult for me, I want to enjoy our Baby Moon and not do anything that would cause any bleeding. We're looking forward to some relaxation on our Baby Moon get away and we're so thankful to know that our baby is doing so well!

See you in two weeks!

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