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Rebecca's Pregnancy After Loss Journal

Week 13
~ On Guard

This week I went to the high risk doctor for my nuchal scan. As the appointment grew closer, I realized how serious of a test this was going to be, and how nervous I was becoming. Then, the day before the test I just told myself that the test was going to turn out fine. Step 1 to the test went very quickly because it was just a regular ultrasound that did an extra measurement of the thickness behind the neck. My friend who I mentioned in an earlier journal, who is due the same day as I am, told me she also had it done a week before and they were able to see the possible sex of the baby. So when the ultrasound tech was checking out all of her measurements, I also asked her to look to see if she could determine the sex. Without hesitation and without even looking she simply said that it was too early. The doctor then spoke with me and said that our baby's neck thickness is actually very thin. The thinner it is, according to him, then the less of a chance of a chromosomal defect. So he said it looks really good. Ada, as you know, had a partial deletion of her 4th chromosome, so this was something we were particularly worried about. The doctor said that if Ada was tested with this method then her problem would have been detected earlier and she would have with no doubt, tested positive.

Step 2 to the test was blood work. The blood work will be sent to the lab and I should hear the information in about a week. The blood work combined with the scan will confirm that there are no chromosomal abnormalities. Until then, we will just wait.

When the doctor said the words "I feel like everything looks normal and you can breathe a sigh of relief" brought tears to my eyes. It was a huge stepping stone that lifted a huge weight off of our shoulders. At the same time, we know that we still have a long road ahead of us. It's hard to fully let our guard down because we were told with Ada in the beginning that we were just going to have a small baby, but everything else appeared to be fine. They then suggested an amniocentesis to make sure there was nothing genetically wrong with her and the preliminary results came back negative. Two weeks later when the final chromosomal make-up came back, they found the deletion. Our feelings went from happiness and relief to deep sadness and confusion. For that reason, we're so relieved that the baby is doing so well, but we continue have fear in the back of our minds.

Other than the doctor's visit I noticed I'm really starting to feel better. I hardly any nausea and I have a lot more energy. I started slowly working my way back into my work-outs. I found that I do get a little more tired with my workouts and my strength is not as good. But, it feels so good to be feeling more normal again. I love the second trimester because you feel so much better. I still haven't needed any maternity pants yet, or used my Bellaband, but I started to wear looser fitting shirts. I'm going to take full-advantage of my new found energy because I know that before long, that energy is going to be non-existent.

Until next week,

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