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Rebecca's Pregnancy After Loss Journal

Week 16
~ To Know or Not to Know

There was no question! We knew we wanted to know the sex of the baby and we discussed this when we were TTC. When I was pregnant for Ada we also found out because it was our first pregnancy and we were too excited not to know. At the time we were thinking that it was possible that for our second pregnancy that we would wait and not find out until the baby was born. Now, we feel differently. When we found out our first baby was a girl, we knew her name right away, so we immediately started calling her Ada. We formed a deeper bond with her, because she had a name, and now that time with her is all we have. Therefore, we want to start to form that bond with our second baby early on and that bond means so much more to us now.
,br> For that reason, we decided to find out. I had my appointment with the high risk doctor this week and to our surprise they did a full anatomy ultrasound. We didn't expect them to look at so much this early, but they got as much as they could. It brought tears to my eyes because everything the tech was looking at looked great! The measurements are right on schedule (which is where Ada kept falling behind). When the tech went down to look at the sex of the baby, their legs were crossed but after a little jabbing the tech said it looks like a GIRL! Before we were done with the ultrasound the tech did another check, just to be sure. I have another anatomy ultrasound in two weeks. They will be looking at everything again but of course she'll be more developed so they'll get a better view of the heart, along with other things and to double check the sex.

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Right after the appointment I had to go right to work, so I didn't have time to absorb and take in the information. I'm so overwhelmed with the good news but Mark and I didn't have much time to talk about it so it's just an emotional situation. We're so happy that she is developing so well, it's indescribable!

When I got home from work, we talked about how we felt about everything. One thing that we discussed was making sure the baby doesn't live in the shadows of her sister. I think every parent deals with this whether their child has been an only child for some time or, like in our case, in which the older sibling has passed away. I mentioned in earlier journals that we've started some traditions around Christmas so that Ada's siblings will be able to share in her memory with us. This baby will realize how incredibly unique she is to us and how special she is to have an older sister, Ada. We've always believed that each child is a blessing, so we are so excited to have another little girl on the way!

After talking with the doctor at this week, he said that they want to continue to see me throughout the entire pregnancy. We were both surprised at this because we were told that after the anatomy ultrasound between 18-20 weeks that they would discharge me. The doctor's response was that even though he doesn't consider me "high risk" at this point, he wants to be able to keep a record of the baby's measurements throughout the pregnancy. He said that if the same office is recording the measurements, then they'll be able to find if there are any variances. I have an appointment with my regular doctor this week so I want to talk about this with her. At this point we feel like we're paying both places and we don't know why I have to continue to go to both. We of course want to make sure that she's getting the best care possible, but it seems redundant to go to one doctor one week and another the next week. We'll see how the week's appointment goes.

It looks like I'm going to bring the BellaBands out this week - my pants are a little tight when I sit down! At the same time, I'm anxious to be able to buy some new maternity clothes! I feel myself getting more and more excited!

Until next week,
  Rebecca


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