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Rebecca's Pregnancy After Loss Journal

Week 20
~ Settling on Our Nest

We have begun our nesting process in our own little way. We didn't really develop a system for how we were going to do this, but this is how the process has been laying out:

The first step for me was to buy more maternity clothes. I didn't have many maternity clothes from before because I mostly relied on the Bella Bands and most of my maternity clothes were for the summer, so I was in desperate need of some. This was a big first step for us, it was like we were saying "this is real" and "we have confidence the baby is going to be okay".

Step 2 for us was to name the baby. When we officially found out it was a girl at our last ultrasound then we knew it was time to confirm a name. We realize that we have a lot of time to do this, because some people obviously don't settle on a name until after the baby is born, but for us, as I mentioned in an earlier journal, it's a bonding process. Deciding on a name to us was like an unspoken recognition to each other that we knew she was going to be okay. After some debate, we named her Adisyn Hope. I really liked the name Addison for a long time, and Mark fell in love with it. But, then I noticed Addison was getting more and more popular so I was hesitant about the name. Mark couldn't find another name that he liked as much. I agreed with him, but I wanted her spelling to be more unique. The name Hope came natural because when I first thought of it, it brought tears to my eyes. This baby brings us so much hope, and we wanted her name to be as meaningful as she is to us. So when we decided on the name Adisyn, then Hope fit in perfect! We have only told our parents, some close friends and the StorkNet community so far, and we haven't really discussed if we are going to share it yet or wait, but it feels so comforting to know that Adisyn is active and growing healthy!

The next step is getting things ready for Adisyn. I think nesting usually comes so easily in your pregnancy but after a loss, it's different. We have been hesitant, we know that she is healthy, but we're so afraid to take that next step. This week we officially updated our baby registry and bought some used baby things from a friend and at a large baby thrift show at an exposition center that was in town. As the nursery fills up and Adisyn is kicking so actively all day long, we are feeling more uplifted. We still hold that bit of nervousness in the back our heads, but now it is more of the typical concerns. We still have a long way to go to get ready for her arrival, but we feel like these milestones are a good start!


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