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Rebecca's Pregnancy After Loss Journal

Week 7
~ Hungry, Hungry Hippo

We made the 10 hour trip up to my dad's house for a quick visit. My dad actually lives the closest to me than anyone else on my side of the family so we don't get to visit my family very often. My bladder wasn't the problem on the trip like I thought it would be; my main problem was my hunger! I have been so hungry that I think I could probably eat all day and not be full! It feels like my blood sugar drops so quick that it goes to the point of no return. Because of this I'm not able to work-out as often as normal. I started bringing small snacks with me to work but I haven't found the right food that's healthy and satisfying. By the time I get home from work I'm just wiped out! I know this sounds strange but I am actually thankful that I feel this way. I know I complain but at the same time I feel blessed that I am pregnant! I waited so long to feel like this again!

We told the news to my dad while we were visiting. My parents got a divorced when I was 8 and my dad moved back to his home town when he left, which was 6 hours away. So, I only saw my dad every now and then when I was growing up. When we told him the news, he just changed the subject and talked about something else. This is typical of my dad so I'm not disappointed or upset, and I just told Mark "well at least he knows". My dad has never said a word to us about Ada or her death. I don't know if he doesn't know what to say or is just uncomfortable about it, but it's never mentioned. My mom, on the other hand, was very excited when I called her!

We see Mark's parents more often because they only live 2 hours away. When Mark called them to tell them we were pregnant, the first thing Mark's dad said was "make sure she doesn't exercise." According to his dad that despite what my doctor says, I just need to sit around and do nothing. To me, this was hurtful. His parents are usually very supportive of us and I'm grateful to have them as in-laws, but sometimes they're overprotective. I felt like Mark's dad was almost blaming me for what happened to Ada. I know that he knows that what happened to Ada was unpreventable, but that he is just concerned and wants us to have a healthy baby.

We know that our parents are excited for us and happy to be expecting another grandchild. I know it was difficult for our parents go see their child go through what we did, and they only want the best for us. So, as I fight through my fatigue and exercise when I can, I am so grateful to be experiencing this again!


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