Iím not sure where to begin. If I was writing this a few weeks ago, the tone of the journal would be different. I gave it time, and frankly I was avoiding writing it. But, Iím in a better state-of-mind now and this is how it all went . . .
I was so excited about finally starting the pregnancy journals. But, then it started. Yes, AF came . . . early. It hit me so hard. I think it hit me harder because of all we have done this month to prepare. To make it even harder for me was that Mark was out of town. Mark and I were able to talk, some, but it was very brief when he could talk. It was hard to share my sadness when conversations are so short. I felt alone and I didnít have my best friend to talk to. Adisyn had a rough week too since she wasnít feeling too good and wasnít getting enough sleep. I didnít even know what I could say in this journal. I didnít want to feel so low and lonely and then write a journal on top of it. I was supposed to be sharing good news.
So, I waited. I waited until I cleared my head, talked to Mark, as well as a few friends who have gone through similar ordeals and got over my crazy, depressive state-of-mind. I also waited until I talked to the doctor.
Well now is a different me. I am hopeful and excited. The doctor determined a few things were out of whack (what a surprise!) and he adjusted the medication as well as put me on progesterone. We also did another round of IUI. I feel like they cracked the case and they have found out the missing link.
Adisyn is also feeling better. It seems like it takes a lot longer time to get over the simple cold when youíre in school with other little kids fighting the same thing and germs just love each other. I think we are finally getting back to our normal sleep pattern.
Iím very optimistic and it really does feel different . . . and thatís all Iím going to say!
Entry 14 | Entry 12
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