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Rebecca's Trying to Conceive Journal

Entry 5 - October 19, 2013
A Day Late & A Dollar Short

To tell you the truth, I didn't have much confidence this month. Mark has been out of town for a few weeks and even though we were able to have good timing with my ovulation day, we really didn't think of it much this month. As my period approached, I felt fatigued and bloated which can really go either way. I didn't think there was much chance, though. I don't know if it was that I was losing hope or I just didn't feel "it". Whatever the case is, when my period was late according to my app, each day late I was getting more and more encouraged. I thought "wow! We finally did it!" Then, three days after my expected period, AF came to visit. I didn't want to think it was true. I thought, did I really see it, or was it something else? To make me feel a little worse I had laryngitis for a couple of days and I just wasn't feeling good. Now I had my AF there to rub it in.

We had a few changes this month as well. Out of the blue, Adisyn's school let us know they were closing by November 1st. We wanted to look around at other options even though there was a possibility that someone else would buy it. We found a great school, but we had to move her that week because of availability. We were glad we did because a week after they notified us that her school would be closing, they closed the next week! We are really happy with her new place but I didn't realized how attached I was to her old school. I really liked her teachers, her classroom and the director. I think it was harder for me than it was for Adisyn! She fit in to her new school right away and she really likes it as well as her new teachers!

Even as Adisyn is approaching wo years old, I find that I really do love this age! I know it sounds crazy, but I love that she is better able to express her own needs and wants as well as the capacity to learn so much! Even though she tries to be little Miss Independent, she still loves to cuddle up to mommy and wants mommy to kiss her "boo-boos". I know this always won't be the case! She is learning now how to care for others as well as herself. She is concerned when you are sad or have a "boo-boo" yourself she wants to kiss it and make sure "are you ok?" She just makes me so proud every day!

I don't like to feel down or pessimistically about any situation, it's not in my nature. I hope that I will gain some confidence so that I will have a better outlook on this coming cycle. Just talking through the whole situation makes me look at it differently and I realize how we have such a good chance of things happening this month. I just can't wait to make Adisyn a big sister, because she's going to be a great one!


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