Week 26 ~ February 23, 2005
~ Making More for More
Tim and I have often discussed how we could possibly love a second child as much as we love Norah. She's been our one and only for the last 19 months and it's hard to imagine another child working their way into our lives. However, everyone from our parents to my siblings, to our friends with children tell us that your love just multiplies with the addition of new children. It's a concept I can't seem to grasp just yet. I want to believe it, but I have my doubts.
In my heart of hearts, I know this little boy is most definitely wanted, loved already, here already - but we simply don't know him yet. It's hard to imagine the stories he'll be a part of, the experiences our family will have because of him, the way he'll smell and the way he'll sound because those things haven't occurred yet. How can you know what you don't know? I'm not trying to be too deep here, but I have to admit it's something that has occurred to me more than once over the course of this pregnancy.
There's a certain amount of sadness that comes with the end of "the three of us," but there's the anticipation and excitement of "the four of us" too! I remember in the weeks leading up to Norah's birth, Tim and I really savored our weekends. That is the time we always spent together and looked forward to the most, since we're both working during the week. We'd read the paper, drink our coffee, eat breakfast, and speculate as to whether or not this was our "last" weekend alone together. One Sunday, we took pictures because I was feeling unusually "large and in charge," and lo and behold, Norah was born 3 days later. Clearly, once she was born we both felt exhilarated and thrilled and complete to have had her in our lives, and never once have we had the sense that we were missing our twosome. Our addition of the third person in our family was the greatest improvement possible, but one we couldn't predict until it actually happened. I speculate it'll be much the same way with this new baby. We'll look back and wonder how we ever got along with just one child. But it is hard to imagine in advance what that will be like.
So, in the meantime between now and early June, we're savoring our time as a family of three. We go out to dinner on Friday nights, as our family "date night," take extra-long baths to play (in case we don't have quite as much time once the little boy arrives), and spend extra time playing with the blocks and Norah's other favorite toys. The weekends are still our special time together, and we're counting them down just the way we did before Norah's arrival. It's exciting and bittersweet at the same time.
In other news, I've had a cold, which hasn't been fun, and I'm beginning to get really big. Big as in, I'm out of breath after climbing the 2 flights of stairs to my office. Big as in, it's more of a maneuver getting in and out of the car than it usually is. Big as in, I saw a picture of myself and was blown away at how different my mental picture of myself is from reality. I know I'm big for a purpose and am growing a whole new life, but I worked really hard to get down to my pre-pregnancy weight after having Norah, and it just hit me that when all this is done, that work will have been for naught and I'm back at weight-loss-square-one. I'm really trying to not get carried away with my appearance, just something that's been on my mind lately. Oh, and that box of zingers and bag of Doritos I've been working on for the last couple of weeks probably weren't the greatest purchases I could have made at the grocery store!