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Robin's Pregnancy Journal

Week 17 ~ October 31, 2005
~ One Month to Go!

Kevin's company finally got their redeployment orders this past week. They still don't have all the details worked out for their exact return but a December homecoming is more definite now. He could be here in just four weeks! I doubt it'll be that quick but considering he's been gone for almost a year, not counting his two weeks of leave in July, one month seems like no time at all!

So I guess I have some time to work on these mood swings. I've been in my own personal hell lately and I don't know if it's simply because my mood shifts every five minutes or if I'm just bored because I have no one to take my swings out on. I'm getting pretty good at aiming them at Kevin either on the phone, when he's brave enough to call, or online when he dares to send me an instant message. He may be able to handle two deployments to Iraq but we have yet to see how he handles a pregnant wife! Lucky for me he has to turn in his weapons before he comes home It could be worse, we haven't really spoken in about a week because 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.' I could fake being nice to him but he sees right through that, so I just try to keep my distance (as if the thousands of miles between us wasn't enough already).

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The morning sickness is still lingering. Every time I think I've finally shaken it off, here it comes again in full force! I keep a pillow and blanket in the bathroom upstairs, just in case. I still don't have the belly yet. Although my abs are a little sore every now and then from the stretching that finally seems to be starting. At first I was dreading the day when I would totally lose my figure but now I'm just anxious to pop and get this internal party started. I still have my days when I feel like I'm in denial about this whole pregnancy because I can still wear my favorite clothes and look at my reflection in the mirror as if nothing has changed in the past four months - except for the incredible chest enlargement (which is not fun to have unless you have someone to show it off to!)

For the first time since Kevin left in January, I can officially say that I am bored out of my mind! I never realized how much time I actually spent studying and doing homework until now when I don't have it to do anymore! From the morning sickness to getting just plain ole sick I missed three weeks of classes. My doctor wrote the university a letter expressing the difficulties I've had lately with this pregnancy and said that it would be difficult for me to successfully complete this semester. I dropped all of my classes and was issued a refund for tuition. I sent Kevin an email, told him all about it, and then told him I never wanted to talk about it again. I'm very disappointed that I couldn't pull it together to finish the classes. I realize now that I have no hobbies!! Work, school, and a great social life took up all my time for the past five years, before that it was just school and a demanding figure skating schedule. I need to find a new pastime.

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