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Robin's pregnancy journal

Week 8

sonogramWhat a week this has been! I do not remember being this tired with my last pregnancy. I am tired all the time. I get up in the morning, and I am tired before I even get my teeth brushed! <G> I am not sure if I mentioned this before, but I stay home with my son as well as being a registered home day care provider. I care for four other children besides Ryan. They are 8 months (leaving in two weeks), 2 years, 2.5 years, and 4.5 years. I enjoy caring for them, but it is really exhausting. Needless to say, this makes me even more tired during the day and rarely gives me a chance to sit down and rest. While I do have my daily ritual of Rosie everyday at 10am <G>, that is about my only time to sit down and recoup.

I still have a lot of morning sickness. I habitually vomit when I get up in the morning and then I am sick to my stomach for a couple hours and Also on and off during the day which is something new this week. I have had a lot of breast tenderness this week as well.

On the emotional aspect of this pregnancy, I am still have "second thoughts" if that is what you want to call them. Was I crazy to want another child? My son is being a typical 1 year old terror this week--spouting off into temper tantrums when you have something that he wants, whining 24 hours a day, and a newfound terror of mommy leaving the room. I wonder if I can handle another child. I know that as I get farther along, these feelings will dissipate, but right now they leave a nagging feeling at me.

Breastfeeding . . . not something that I have to decide right this minute, I know . . . BUT, something nevertheless that leaves me wondering. When I was pregnant with Ryan, never once did I question whether or not I wanted to breastfeed. I KNEW that I wanted to. After all, it is best for mom and baby. Now if I can only convince myself of that again. I tried to breastfeed Ryan with no success. Maybe I was not patient enough. Ryan had some problems with sucking that I found out later could have been fixed. It caused so much pain that I could not stand it. I gave in to the wonderful invention that we call formula! After all, the formula companies bombard you with it when you are pregnant. It is so handy, and it is there. When I bottlefed Ryan, I felt the closest to him that I had since he was born. I could hold him, look at him, and not be in pain. It was a nice feeling for once. This time around, I am trying to decide if I really want to go through all that again. Part of me knows that it is the best for everyone, the other part of me believes that it is not the best for me and the baby. I have a lot of extended family, and it is nice to be able to share my children with them. It gives me a break and gives them a chance to bond. By breastfeeding, I will not be able to share my child like that without worrying about how they will eat. As you can see, I have a lot to work out before this baby is born! :)

On to some other news . . . I had my first sonogram this week! Everything looks great for a 7.5 week old baby. (Yes, that backed my due date up!) I am now due on January 30, 1998. The baby was wiggling around in there a lot. It was too early to be able to distinguish body parts, but you could see the little "blob" very clearly in there. The tech told me that the baby was about 15 mm long now. That is soooo tiny! The heartrate was 150, which she told me was normal. All in all the baby looks fine. I don't think that you ever stop worrying though. Even though I have no reason to believe that I will miscarry, I went in there wondering if I would really see a baby on that screen. That thought really scared me!

When I saw the sac, I felt so relieved. I see the perinatologist today and will give a report on that next week!

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