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Shauna's Pregnancy Journal

Week 10
~ Fred needs to know

Physically: General yuckiness continues, especially gas and bloating, with occasional constipation, nausea and heartburn. Fortunately it comes and goes, and rarely afflicts for long periods of time. Usually there is a good part of every day when I actually feel good!

Emotionally: Much, much better. I am in good spirits, no depression at all. I'm not loving being pregnant (especially when my physical symptoms are yucky), but I'm contented with the idea.

As for the rest of my life, I am still astounded by how overwhelming being pregnant is. It's not just the physical and emotional feelings-it encompasses all my thoughts and actions (or non-actions). It's all my friends seem to ask about anymore, which is fine, because it's about all I seem to want to talk about. Crazy.

My son, Fred, who is 6, has started to react negatively however. Up to this point, he has been very interested and very excited. But now he is starting to have some troubling behavior (repeated bowel movements in his underwear-that sort of thing). And yesterday he came to me crying: "Why do you have to be pregnant?" he asked. "Why can't we just adopt this baby too?" I told him I was wondering those same things, but that I was so happy to be having another baby. We talked about his concerns, and I acknowledged that it must be difficult for him, especially when Mom is not feeling so good.

What he really wanted to know about, it turns out, was HOW that baby got into my stomach in the first place. I danced around the answer at first, giving the usual euphemistic answers-mommy and daddy love each other, when married people show their love, sometimes it makes a baby . . . Not what he wanted to hear. Obviously that's not how we got our babies before. He had the answer himself-it's from kissing, isn't it? No, it's not kissing. Kissing may be part of the process, but . . . He knew it. Kissing. Yuck. He is never going to kiss anyone. No, I assured him. It's not kissing. I tried another simple answer or two. Nothing satisfied. He wanted the REAL answer.

Finally I gave in. We talked about that private part that boys have which is different from girls. He nodded his head knowingly, pointing to the correct area, and mouthing the word-he was with me on this explanation. Sometimes, when a man and a woman love each other, the man puts that private part in the woman. The woman has an egg inside of her, and the boy's part has "baby seeds" (okay, so I got a little creative here in my terminology). If the baby seeds get on the egg, then a baby can grow. That was the end of my explanation. No more was needed at this point. Fred was contented, and not at all disturbed by that answer (not near as much as by the idea of kissing). I did, however, add, that, although usually this happens when people are married, sometimes it happens when they're not, and if the mom is not ready to take care of the baby by herself, she may decide to give the baby up for adoption. That's how we he and Rose came to us.

Fred not only seemed happy with our little talk about where babies come from, he also seemed happier with the idea of this particular baby coming to our family in this way.

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