Week 30 - October 3, 2006
~ A Shift
This week the baby shifted in my womb from laying wide across my belly to moving vertically in front. I have included a picture of my new larger looking profile. Perhaps it was because of this shift, or just because "nature" thought I had a long enough reprieve (I felt relatively good for almost a whole week), but I have had an onslaught of new and old pregnancy pains. The vomiting has returned to an extent, especially at night again, and I have had two almost completely sleepless nights in the past week because of acid and vomiting.
Last night was especially challenging. It was a terrible day to begin with. I was feeling completely exhausted, but also weak, shaky and faint. I put Rose down to nap early in the day, and I thought I would lie down for a while too. Rose woke me up only a little while later, or so it seemed, though in reality we both slept for over two and a half hours, and Fred was on his way home from school (thank goodness for carpool!). I never regained my strength the whole day, and as night came, I sought my bed again with trepidation. I was not only feeling physically sore, but my emotions were also very unsteady. I was beginning to feel beaten down by the whole pregnancy thing, and I was not in a good mood. I fluffed and propped my pillows, but I could not find a comfortable position. I was having a lot of abdominal aches and pains, my feet were swollen and itchy, the baby was squirming incessantly, and as soon as I tried to lie down, the acid started backing up. There was also seemingly unrelievable pressure on my bladder. Thus began a long night of tossing, turning, and repeated bathroom trips for either urination or vomiting. By the time Paul came to bed around 10:30 or 11pm, I was incredibly irritable and I asked him if he minded sleeping somewhere else because it did not look like I was going to have any long-term rest that night, and the idea of listening to him snore, or even peacefully breathe, turn over, or pull the covers a little bit, seemed more than I could bear. He did not agree on pleasant terms. I passed the night fitfully, sleeping a little between 3am and 5am, then again from about 6am to 7am.
Even with such little sleep and comfort, I do feel somewhat better this morning. I have been able to eat a little breakfast, including several glasses of juice and milk, which I have every morning in an effort to quench an insatiable morning thirst. Most importantly, though, is that my black mood has seemed to pass. I do not like having the black moods of depression--I do not want to feel beaten down by pregnancy. I do not like to be so irritable and short-tempered. I do not want to feel cranky and impatient with my family, especially when I know that my physical symptoms are hard enough for us all to bear. I still have two months to go, and it hardly seems possible that I can make it, if this is how things are going to be.