This has been a slow week, pregnancy-wise. I feel good some days, not so good other days, but it is never that bad. And I am definitely coming to terms with the fact that I am pregnant. I feel much more accepting of everything, even if I cannot yet say that I am excited.
I have spent a lot of this week thinking about how shocked I was when I found out I was pregnant, and that led me to think about other friends I have who had similar late-30's, early 40's pregnancy shocks. The first people I thought about were the birth mothers of our children. Both were in their late thirties when they gave birth. I thought especially of Fred's birth mother, who, as she described herself, did not have a maternal bone in her body, but who, at 37 years old and after one night of comforting a friend, found herself unexpectedly pregnant. What an unwelcome shock that must have been for her. I know that she tried to ignore the whole situation, and pretty much tried to deny the fact that she was pregnant. But obviously, as the months passed, this became impossible to do. Finally, by her 8th month, she got up the courage to get a doctor, and then, with her sister's help, found us to adopt the baby. We were a good fit, and she said, that after she met us, she was able to relax and enjoy her pregnancy for the first time.
Our daughter Rose's birth mother was a bit different story, since Rose was actually her sixth pregnancy. However, at the time, she was unmarried, not working, and without a permanent place to live. Although she did not have custody of most of her other children, she was currently parenting her 5th child, a beautiful 15 month old girl. She did not claim to know Rose's birth father, and so her first reaction to her pregnancy was abortion. We are forever grateful that she was not able to follow through on that abortion, and that she chose instead to place her baby for adoption with us.
In both these cases, pregnancy came as a terrible shock, and both ladies were not in a position to be able to parent the children. I cannot imagine what pregnancy must be like in those cases. Thinking of our wonderful birth mothers has really helped me have more perspective on my own pregnancy. My pregnancy may be unexpected, but another child in our home is DEFINITELY WELCOME.
I have also thought of others in my acquaintance who thought they were done having children, feeling that their families were complete. But, surprise, surprise, in their late-30's or early 40's, found themselves pregnant once again. Many of these women have confided to me that they too first reacted with anger and depression. My own mother says that when she found out she was pregnant for the 6th time at 39 years old, she despaired at the thought of another round of diapers, teething, toilet training and all the rest. Of course, in all these situations, the late coming child became the much-loved "baby" of the family.
So I have found myself grateful that even though I must be pregnant to have this third child, we will, in the end, get to keep this blessed child. And although I am nearing 40 years old myself, my family is still young, and we are still so desperately hoping to add another child to our home. So the timing couldn't be more perfect. Really, in perspective, this pregnancy is an incredible miracle blessing.