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Sherah's Pregnancy Journal

Week 25
~ Minor Frustrations

I joined a small singing ensemble in the beginning of this pregnancy. In the beginning I was really excited about it, but the more I have become involved the more frustrated I have become with it. I thought that it would be fun and good for me to get out and spend some time away from the house. Instead it has turned into a bit of a dread. Some of the singers in the ensemble are good singers and musicians, then there are others who can't stay on pitch at all. The two other sopranos that I sing with have problems staying on pitch. Apparently, before I came to the ensemble there was a big blow up about it and the two girls were very hurt and upset. Anyway, I have been putting myself in the background since I started, trying to see the dynamics or the group, but this past week I started to try to help them expand sing on pitch. The advice I gave worked for them and we began to see results, but one of the girls was upset that I was taking more of a lead and she started to be a real pain. She had to then show her more aggressive side and try and show what she knows (which is not much). It was frustrating to me because I do have the most vocal training of everyone in the group and have a lot to offer them in that area, but I am new and understand how she would be threatened by that. All I want to get past this place where they are singing off-pitch, so we can enjoy ourselves.

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To make matters more frustrating, only one other person in the group is married and no one else has children. So they are not understanding at all that it is hard for me to rehearse from 7:30 PM until 12AM every Thursday. My normal bedtime is 10PM and I can't cope with late hours, not after taking care of Yaheli all day long and being 6 months pregnant (and this is the easy stage of the pregnancy). Last week, I told them I wanted to stay close to home (in case I got tired and needed to go home) and rehearse at the clubhouse near our apartment instead of going to one of the girl's apartments to rehearse. I got a bunch of questioning looks and some comments, including one very pointed comment in the e-mail I mention in the following paragraph. We have a concert next week so they want to do a full-day rehearsal on Saturday because they can't get themselves together enough to work efficiently on the material. I'm sorry, but that's my only real day to rest and relax before the week starts again (Here Sundays are like Mondays). So, last night one of the girls wrote an upset e-mail that people (not only me) are not committed enough to the group because they don't want to rehearse all day Saturday. It's just frustrating!!! She's the one who has the most pitch problems . . . I think she is the one who needs to rehearse all day Saturday. I can spare some time, but I am not going to waste my whole Saturday trying to teach them how to sing properly.

The pregnancy is going really well. The baby is already kicking my ribs. I don't remember Yaheli kicking me in the ribs so early. My back is killing me though. Every night it gets really very painful. Herman is getting used to nightly backrubs because I can't stand it. I have scoliosis in the middle part of my back, which is where it is hurting. My muscles have decided to pull tight on me. I just hope it doesn't get worse toward the end of the pregnancy.

I am kicking myself that I am not more active. I take Yaheli for walks around the campus and do a pregnancy exercise video at least once a week, but it's not enough. I want to be in good shape for the birth and I know that if I don't start exercising more now, I am not going to get there. Luckily, we do get out and walk a lot on the weekends. Somehow it's easier when I am not alone with Yaheli. I know that it will be even harder when I get to the States (if I go) because the culture is much less of a walking culture than here. Anyone want to come kick me out of my computer chair???

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