~ March 4, 2003
Truth be told, I spent this past week thinking more about Alex, the baby I lost 8 years ago this past week, than anything else. I was actually surprised because I thought I was doing quite well and I had not broken down when something happened that changed all of that.
Just outside the hall's bathroom door, I had hung a framed picture of Alex, with underneath, a framed poem. I hung these frames in October when we moved in, and there are many other frames of other pictures on the adjacent wall. On Alex's Anniversary, March 1st, our landlord came by and needed to use the bathroom. I did not hear him slam the door or being unnecessarily rough, yet Alex's picture fell, and the poem underneath was hanging on by just one of the nails and was about to fall. All the other frames were fine and looked undisturbed. At the time I thought nothing of it, thinking maybe he had been rough without my acknowledging it and that was that. Later on that day I was taking a shower and a thought came into my mind. Those frames were hung months ago. We had many people use that bathroom, from construction workers, to family members, my stepchildren, and we use that bathroom all the time, and the frames always hung on. But on Alex's anniversary, on that particular day, down they go. I thought of the movie 'Ghost' and 'What lies beneath', where spirits knock off pictures to make a statement and I started to sob uncontrollably. I was under the shower, not able to calm down. It was probably one of the most surreal moments of my life.
After I calmed down and I got out of the shower I told Greg about it, and while at first he said it was just a coincidence, which I did not believe, he gave me a big hug. Later on the same day he came to me, baffled and told me that he must have used that bathroom a hundred times since we moved in, and yet, Alex's pictures fell AGAIN, on him, today. He now believed too. He even told me we should get a little cake and celebrate March 1st as Alex's birthday every year . . . how sweet is that? It's now four days later, and those pictures haven't fallen since. Just twice on his anniversary. There is no doubt in my mind that my little Angel was trying to communicate, to make his presence known, and it's not creepy at all; it's actually quite reassuring.
All right . . . on to the pregnancy stuff! LOL. The first trimester is now almost officially over, and I feel quite well. The nausea is practically gone. Now that Nicky's back in school, I am now able to go back to my Aqua Aerobics class, and I feel great! My next doctor appointment is tomorrow. I hope they will show me my peanut again!