~ April 1, 2003
This week I was basically buried into eBay buying maternity clothes, LOL. I never thought I would become one of these people so it's been strange. What's even stranger is the fact that I am buying them knowing full well in my heart that if something goes wrong with the amnio, I might not even use them, but I am trying so hard to be hopeful. This is one of those things and times where I try to tuck away my fears and dare to be happy. Can I? I will know in a month.
One weird piece of trivia entered my mind last night. My great-grandmother was born exactly 100 years before I was, in 1864, and she had my grandmother in 1903. Isn't that an amazing coincidence? I was born in 1964 and this baby will be born (yes, thinking positive) in 2003. Amazingly enough, this baby will be almost exactly 100 years younger than his or her great-grandmother, only about two weeks later, as my grandma will turn 100 years old in mid-August, and this baby will be born in early September. Kinda strange, but I've always been a lover of trivia in general, so . . .hmmm.
My waist and basically middle area is completely 'gone'. I find it amusing how I don't really have a belly per se, just the entire frontal area just gave out. I tell ya, it makes me look weird, fat and not pregnant! I am not sure I like it, but I guess that is what happens on third pregnancies and beyond when the tummy's muscles are completely gone. Oh well, in a month I will be all belly so I won't have to worry about it anymore! I hope so anyway.
What makes me sad is that through all of this I am still having to worry about money. Ugh. Long story, but I've lost my job in September 2001 and I am still looking for something to do from home. I do a lot of stuff that earns me some cash, but nothing like a real income. And it's not like I want to make all this money, just enough to pay my bills, and right now I can't even do that. Oh well, life goes on.
Tomorrow is my fourth month doctor appointment. I hope they will do an ultrasound, but who knows. I also started feeling some fluttering this week, I know it's the baby too, and it's sweeeet.