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Silvia's Pregnancy Journal

Week 19
~ April 30, 2003

I was so worried last week after the amnio that I would be one of those .25% of women that loses the baby after the amnio, but, knock on wood, I am still pregnant 9 days later. A good sign . . . yes? He's moving so much too, he kicks and kicks. This kid is amazing, really! Like he 'knows' that mommy needs that reassurance he's okay every so often. I love you too sweetie!

The results from the amnio are not back yet, but most likely will be soon in the next couple of days. I am worried and not at the same time. I guess part of me really wants to think positive, while part of me finds it absolutely impossible . . . like a tug of war. In the meantime, I am now HUGE! It's like in the past couple of weeks I went from people not even noticing I am pregnant to . . . WOW . . . am I pregnant or what? The belly is completely out there!

My hubby is so funny. Pregnant women to him are a HUGE turn on! I love it! It's hard enough thinking my body is going away and I may not get my figure back for a year or two, but him loving it so much really does help. It's actually very strange how I feel about gaining weight; for the most part I don't really mind. After I had Alex I re-gained my figure within 2 months (I can't believe it myself) but I believe it was because I was so upset over the baby's death; food was the last thing on my mind. After I had Nicky, on the other hand, it took me over two years to lose the weight because it was a different kind of grief. Part of me was happy I finally had a baby to love, part of me so upset that he was in so much pain. Food was of comfort at that point. I just have to believe things WILL be different this time around, that I will be happy and content, breastfeeding and losing the weight in 6-9 months will be my goal. I guess we'll see.

Still nothing decided in the name department. I have no clue!

I will be going to take 7 more blood tests the day after tomorrow . . . all this pricking and prodding! LOL. I just hope the tests come back okay, otherwise I don't mind.

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