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Silvia's Pregnancy Journal

Week 24
~ June 5, 2003

What? Another week has gone by? This baby will be coming in three months? Am I ready? I keep going through all the things I will need and things I won't need in my head, and even though September seems pretty far away, the reality is . . . it is not. I think the hardest thing for me will be the sleeping factor. I cherish my sleep. Thankfully, since I am not officially working, I can sleep during the day, or when the baby sleeps, but I will also have Nicky, so I will probably be pretty darn tired the first three months or so. However, I am so looking forward to breastfeeding . . . I've wanted to do it so badly before and then I never could. With Alex being stillborn, when the milk came in it was like such a slap in the face. I could not pump it or more would come, so I had these enormous boobs that were so *hot* I had to put ice-packs to get some relief. I was absolutely miserable and calling it miserable is the understatement of the year. With Nicky, unfortunately, his mouth was in such bad shape (he had lost all sorts of skin in his mouth) that he was unable to suck. I had to pump, and I pumped for a while, but it was not easy. Will I breastfeed this time? Is third time the charm? I surely hope so!

Everything else seems to be going okay. I still have some groin pains, some back pains and shoes don't fit so well anymore, but nothing really over the top, just in moderation. The baby (Connor? Hmm . . .) is always moving a lot, and Nicky is getting more and more excited about his baby brother. More so than Skylar, but, understandably, she's a teenager, doesn't live with us and most likely won't be much involved with his new baby brother much at all. She's too busy with her friends, her boyfriends and her life. Nicky, on the other hand, will be 100% involved and I just know they will be great friends. I think this baby will do great things for Nicky, and I also know I will expect a lot from this baby as he grows up. I want him to be a good person and become someone I can be proud of. I read somewhere that having a disabled brother or sister is a very maturing situation for a child, and I hope it will be the case here.

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