~ June 20, 2003
I officially cannot sleep on my back anymore! Ha Ha. Not that I did that a whole lot anyway, since I know it's not that good for the baby, but occasionally I just need to sleep in a different position for 10 minutes to rest the 'sides', but . . . no longer. It just feels too weird; I can actually feel the baby's weight on my internal organs, plus, I have a hard time moving at all after that! It's like I am 'stuck'. Sometimes when I play videogames with Nicky I sit on the floor with my back to a soft Elmo chair but after a while I am 'stuck' again. I mean I cannot even MOVE! Too funny. I think my back is trying to tell me something! I suppose that I am getting older and I simply cannot do things while I am pregnant at 38 (almost 39 next month! Yikes!) that I used to do when I was younger. I remember when I was pregnant with Alex, I had just turned 30, which is not too young, yet young enough to do a bunch of stuff I simply can't do now. I used to work full time, on a job where I was standing up the whole day, and I was extremely active. Now all I want to do is sleep. I do look forward on the days where I go to the gym to swim (I try to swim at least twice a week for an hour) but I am so tired afterwards! At least one pregnancy side effect that I do not have that I used to have when I worked is that my feet are not swollen and I don't have carpal tunnel either. Isn't that weird? Well, I know each pregnancy is different, then again, I still have 2.5 months to go. This stuff can STILL happen!
While I am happy to be pregnant, and like to be pregnant, at the same time I can't wait for it to be over. I don't know if it's just the worrisome part of me that just wants to 'fast forward' to make sure the baby is okay, or just that I feel I am just too old for this! I simply have never been so tired in my whole life! Thankfully for the moment Nicky is sleeping extremely well, so that will help a lot when the baby comes, since he will keep me up at night . . . hopefully not for too long!
I am also keeping a written journal in case I did not mention it before; it's a pretty neat journal actually, it's called Expecting you: my pregnancy journal, and it's so unique, it's priceless. It really makes me think because every page has thought 'starters' that I have to finish. Anything about my family, to doctor's appointments, feelings, hopes and dreams. It will be priceless someday, I just know it!