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Silvia's Pregnancy Journal

Week 37 & 38
~ September 4, 2003

Well . . . this is it. My last day of being pregnant. I was looking at my huge belly today and it seems unreal that there is a baby in there sometimes! I don't know why I feel this way, kinda strange since this is my third pregnancy and I should know full well what happens after 9 months of pregnancy (ha ha), but I feel it's probably more of a defense mechanism than anything else.

I truly can't wait to meet this little baby! I am excited, anxious, scared and everything in between. Yesterday when I went to the hospital for pre-op stuff and today at my last OBGYN appointment they explained everything they were going to do to me . . . IV, Epidural, telling me they were going to go thru my old scar, this and that, and while they were excited for me, all this talk of poking and prodding, blood and surgery made me a little apprehensive! A c-section is major surgery after all, but even the Dr. told me that this time around it would be much easier than last time. It's a controlled situation instead of an emergency c-section after 24 hours of labor as it happened last time. I will be rested, relaxed (well, relaxed.. lol) and more aware, my body in better shape to handle it. He also said there will be a lot less bleeding and that I will heal faster too. I hope he is correct. He is a very nice guy, much different than my OBGYN I had for Nicky, who drove me crazy, and to think everyone I knew at the time had him and loved him! Why didn't I? Who knows.

I had my last NST Wednesday and I am told that when I go in tomorrow they will start me off with an NST and they will continue to monitor the baby throughout. So far this baby always tested well with no stress detected at all. Thank God. I wonder how stressed Alex was at times without us knowing it. Of course, we are not even sure of what caused his demise at this point, and will probably never know, but a cord accident is always in the realm of thought.

My last week of being pregnant was most likely the most stressful for me. In the back of my mind memories of the last days of being pregnant with Alex constantly raced thru my head, he was alive one moment, dead the next. The NSTs reassured me that the baby was in no stress from the cord, and that helped a lot, also knowing that the baby's chances of having EB . . . which was also possibly the cause of Alex's demise were slim to none helped, but my mind was still constantly trying to live for the moment, waiting for Connor's next kick or movement to ease my mind.

I kept busy as well as not to dwell too much about things, and it worked! Week 38 did not last long, just a few days, and thank goodness. Now all I have to do is concentrate on a good outcome and stay positive. There surely are enough people praying for this baby! And I can't wait to meet him . . .

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