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Silvia's Pregnancy Journal

Weeks 1-4
~ January 12, 2003

I have to admit, this first week since I found I was pregnant, has been quite . . . quiet I suppose! I told my mom and gave her the job of telling everyone, which she will surely love! LOL. Of course she knows that if something goes wrong (knock on wood) she will have the grim job of also telling everyone. I am hoping she does not have to, for hers, and my sake.

I was trying to think back of when I found out when I was pregnant with my other babies, and it's always been so different. With Alex it was pure 100% joy; I just could not wait to tell everyone! I even got cards from people! First and only time ever. With the baby I miscarried I remember going and hugging my husband for a while, that is about it. I remember vowing to take more pictures of me pregnant . . .so much for that. With Nicky I found out on Easter day, and it was a feeling of real happiness and hope. Almost as if someone told me "this time it's going to work!". Hmmmm.

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This time it felt almost surreal. It has been so long since I was pregnant with Nicky, that when I saw that the test was positive I was almost thinking I was watching someone else's , like it wasn't really my own life that was affected by these two lines on the test strip. Very strange. My husband does not get home until real late, so, since I did not want to tell him over the phone, I waited for him until I, yikes! Fell asleep. DRATS! He came home later than usual and went to play his computer game. It wasn't until 3 or 4am that he went to the bathroom to get ready to come to bed that he saw the test. I am not even sure how he saw it. It was on a corner, with other stuff, but it caught his eye! So . . . kind of funny how he found out! He was telling me later . . ."Gee, this is how I find out, trying to decipher a little stick." To that I responded, "Well, how do you think I found out?" LOL. Too funny.

He's very happy though, which really helps. Immediately the following day I dusted my pregnancy books and joined some mailing lists of women that are due at the same time I am, plus some pregnancy after loss groups as well. I am still very uncomfortable telling anyone though. I am not even sure if Greg told his mom yet. It's not that I feel something is going to go wrong per se, I am just trying not to think about it too much. Once the first trimester is over I will surely feel more at ease, but I doubt I will wait until then! I will most likely tell some of my closest friends in a couple of weeks. Everyone else I am not sure if I will say anything at all, just basically send a birth announcement! That is going to be the easiest thing for me.

So far so good as far as symptoms, breasts are sore, but nothing too bad, no morning sickness, no nausea. I have never thrown up in the past, so I hope to continue! My first doctor's appointment is next Friday.

I am also going to exercise this time around! I took up water aerobics and swimming. Greg is going to take millions of pictures of me for sure! He just looooves pregnant women!

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